


Dodgeball

by FlannelBum



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Danvers-centric, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Because Im a jerk, Brutal break-ups, But I kind of do, Chapter 37 is where Kalex starts to pick up, Eventual Kalex, F/F, Jeez, Just be patient with me, Just skip if you hate it so much, Kara-centric at times too, Kate Kane is likely to appear, Short Chapters, They become best friends first, a little bit of Sanvers, a little bit of supercorp, but just for a second, i dont know where this is going, irregular updates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2020-07-23 09:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 41,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20006377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlannelBum/pseuds/FlannelBum
Summary: Kara and Alex meet in high school and become best friends. They fall in love... With other people, they support each other. They laugh. They cry. Eventually (very eventually) they realize that what they were looking for was there all along.





	1. Dodgeball

Alex did not want to be here.

More importantly, she did not want to be here, playing dodgeball. She frowned at the balls laid out in the middle of the court. Behind them she noticed the new kid, Kara, (who is a bit awkward, sure) fidgeting with her glasses.

Suddenly something clicked, and Alex had an idea. She readied herself to run for the ball closest to her at the end of the row. Being a star of the track team, she was confident she would make it before Kara. The coach called out a 'ready' before the shrill screech of his whistle echoed throughout the gym.

She was off. The rubber ball was safely in her hand before the other girl was anywhere near close. 

Alex stood for a second at the line, not caring in the least if anyone noticed her, "hey, Zor-el!" She yelled and Kara flinched. She motioned with the ball, "catch!" She gently threw it to the very confused member of the opposing team, who managed to catch it with surprising grace.

A moment passed, Alex's face was still. "Oh nooooo…" she deadpanned. "I'm oooout." She then grinned and winked at the girl who was still standing there with the ball clutched in her hands, watching as Alex walked off the court and settled herself on the bleachers.

_That was fun._ Alex thought as she watched Kara collect herself and, to everyone's shock, do rather well in the remainder of the game.

As gym class was wrapping up, Kara approached Alex like a feral cat approaching someone with an enticing morsel of food: one side to another, a little closer each time. She probably would have circled her, if the room allowed for it. "Uhm, Alex?" Kara cleared her throat as Alex turned around with an eyebrow raised.

They said nothing to each other before Kara finally caved, "thank you for letting me have the ball back there. I know you probably didn't do it to be helpful, but I still -" she seemed to catch herself in a ramble, it was cute. She wrapped her arms around herself and dropped her eyes and mumbled, "Thank you."

Alex allowed a genuine smile to spread across her face. "Anytime. I hate dodgeball." She slung her bag over her shoulder, "and you were actually pretty good out there." Kara beamed back at her. _Huh, maybe dodgeball isn't so bad, after all_


	2. Rainy morning kiss

The first kiss was… clumsy. Alex had never kissed anyone before, but it seemed pretty straightforward: put your lips on their lips.

Somehow, though, she managed to kiss only half of the other girl's lips. She shifted her head, and this time they met fully. It was a brief kiss under the quiet gym porch roof, but it was enough to make Alex's heart dance. She could get used to this. They giggled as they broke apart, faces bright red. Alex had waited a long time to get to this point. They had been best friends for a few years now, and they finally discussed what was (now clearly) between the two of them.

The rain poured around them, secluding them from the other students there for their early morning meetings. There was a dash in the corner of Alex's eyes, so she stepped away to a less intimate distance. Everyone knew they were good friends, so close proximity between the two was not unusual, but this was new territory for Alex, so she'd rather not risk it.

The dasher joined them under the covering and Alex recognized the figure only as she removed her hood, revealing blonde hair only partly dry. "Kara, hey!" Alex called out to the newcomer, who looked at the two as if she had not noticed them until then. It was raining pretty hard, so it was possible. "What are you doing here so early?" 

Kara's bright, infectious smile easily found its place. "Hey Alex! I didn't see you two there." She shrugged out of her rain jacket before continuing, "I'm here to try out for the track team? This is where it meets, right?"

Alex frowned to herself, they were not holding tryouts at today. Not that she knew of. "This is where we meet, yeah, but we stopped recruiting a month ago. We have our first meet next week."

The blonde's smile grew. "I know, but coach asked me to come, anyway. I don't think it'll be a problem." She then turned to the other girl, "hi, I'm Kara. I don't think I've met you before." She reached out her hand in greeting.

"Vicki," the third girl replied as her hand met Kara's. She smiled a small, almost shy smile. Alex thought it may be from almost being caught.

"It's nice to meet you, Vicki." She pointed her thumb at the gym entrance, "I should get in there. Coach wanted me here before practice started and I'd rather not be running late." She smiled at her pun and nodded to them both before turning and jogging inside, leaving them alone again.

The two girls turned to each other and blushed, suddenly remembering what had just happened before Kara ran up. "So…" Alex started, unsure how to pick up where they left off. She cleared her throat and met Vicki's blue eyes, "that was fun."

Vicki smiled, but Alex knew she was uncomfortable about something, "it was fun, yeah." She paused as if she were figuring out what she wanted to say. "Listen, Alex..." _Uh-oh._ Alex's face dropped as she braced for what was coming. "Maybe we should -" _please don't say it._ "Keep _this_ , " she pointed between the two of them, "private?"

Relief flushed through Alex's body. Private, as in - not totally rejected. She could do private. She nodded reassuringly. "Yeah, of course!" She rubbed her arm - a nervous tick, really. "We did almost get caught, and I'm not ready for that."

Vicki's face mirrored Alex's relief. "Yeah, no. I'm definitely not ready for that."

Alex just nodded in reply. "Do you want to go watch the new kid's tryouts? She pointed to the doors Kara disappeared behind a few moments before.

Vicki smiled, "yeah, maybe we can even warm up before practice." They walked into the indoor track, only a little closer than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry?


	3. Race

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a bit of a roll, so I am just going to keep posting as I go.

Kara had just finished a warm up lap as Alex and Vicki walked into the gym. The two came and sat right next to each other, as they usually did, but Alex could feel her heart drumming against her ribs. She was no longer confident in the distance they used to maintain as just friends. She hoped where she sat was normal enough.

Her thoughts had her distracted until Vicki drew out a quiet 'wow' and nudged Alex's shoulder with her own, bringing Alex's attention to the girl on the track. "She's fast."

Alex hummed in response, watching Kara start a second lap.

"Possibly even faster than you." Vicki said with a playful smirk.

Alex scoffed at that. She knew there was always someone faster, but she was the fastest of Midvale high and usually in California State meets. Usually. "We'll see about that."

They continued watching for a couple minutes before getting dressed (where they changed with their backs to each other, suddenly shy despite years of changing in the same room together) for the practice that morning. Coach Rollins called out to them as they walked out of the locker room. "Danvers! Donahue! Do either of you feel up to a race?"

The two looked at each other, then at the coach, then at Kara. Kara just sheepishly grinned and shrugged. _Maybe she_ is _fast, if coach wants to race us already,_ Alex thought. Her own curiosity spiked and she nodded her agreement as Vicki did the same.

The race was simple. Run around the track five times. See who wins the kilometer. At coach Rollins' call, they took off. They were all pretty well matched until the fourth lap where Vicki, who was more of a sprinter, started to lose stamina and slowed as Alex and Kara ran ahead, increasing in speed. 

On the final lap, Alex began to worry that she was not going to win. Kara hardly looked like she had run for the last four laps, and she had been running for a good fifteen minutes before then, as well. Determined to not be beat, Alex picked up the pace and sprinted the last fifty meters. She thought that would be enough, surely. Yet there Kara was, just fast enough to not only catch up, but pass ahead and be the clear winner.

Kara's face was bright from running, but also from celebrating her victory with a teeth revealing grin and a small fist pump. Alex congratulated her before Coach Rollins called Kara over, leaving Alex behind with her water bottle.

Half a minute later, Vicki caught up and grinned. "I told you she was faster." She said when her breathing had slowed enough to talk.

Alex rolled her eyes and shoved her (as of thirty minutes ago) girlfriend. "Yeah, yeah." She handed her her own water bottle and began stretching.

Others of the track team began to trickle in and Alex noticed Kara was no longer talking with Rollins. She had a realization that encouraged her to walk up to her. "So, you run?" She said in way of greeting.

Kara turned to her and smiled, "I do, yeah. My cousin and I run ultra-marathons and hundred milers a couple times a year, so I like to be a part of a team for training." Her smile dimmed just a little and she watched the others joining the track. "Running helps keep life manageable, you know?"

Alex saw a kindred spirit in Kara and wondered what threatened to make her life unmanageable. "I do know, yeah." She wanted to ask, but she's only known the girl a few days. She asked a different question instead, "so, it's pretty obvious you could have gotten that ball before me in PE class yesterday. Why didn't you?"

Kara flushed a little before replying, "I would say it's because I am not a sprinter, but I got distracted by hoping there would be potstickers for lunch and I missed the start call." Her face scrunched around her nose. It was cute.

Alex laughed loudly at that and Kara's cheeks darkened a shade, but joined in with her own chuckle. "They do have pretty decent potstickers here."

At that Kara beamed and she agreed as they joined the growing group of runners.


	4. Alex and Vicki talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Vicki have a tough conversation to have. Some surface level homophobia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this one, but it goes in the right direction, so I am just going to deal with it.
> 
> There is only a brief mention of Kara, if that is why you're here today.

Alex and Kara became close friends quickly to the point that their teammates thought the _two of them_ were dating. Alex laughed directly in the face of the first person who asked them if they were together.

Kara, however, simply blushed and replied first. That's when Alex learned that Kara was dating someone from her old school in Metropolis, but she gave no further information than that.

Vicki had caught wind of the rumors shortly after Alex and brought it up one evening while they were working (mostly) on their homework together, "you and Kara have gotten pretty close." Vicki said as though she was trying to be casual as she scribbled notes in her notebook.

Alex noticed her jealous tone and frowned. "Yeah, but Kara gets along with everyone easily." Which was true, Kara seemed to have added another person to her collection of friends daily, if not hourly. "It's like she's a crazy cat lady, but she takes in stray humans instead." It had only been a month since she moved to Midvale, but Alex was pretty certain Kara had found and collected each and every misfit on the school campus.

Vicki stared at her notebook for a moment, "don't you hate that I still want to keep us a secret?" Her pen was shaking in her hand. "I mean, wouldn't you rather be with someone as open as Kara?"

Alex blinked. "No." She said it with a conviction she felt to her core. She knew why Vicki did not want people to know. That her family would likely kick her out or some other drastic measure. Alex just wanted to spend time with her. And maybe make-out when they could. But really just to be there together meant the most to Alex. 

Vicki did not look convinced by Alex's brevity, so she scooted closer to her until they were both sitting with their legs crossed, knees touching, and faces mere inches from each other. Alex's voice was low and soothing as she spoke, "hey." She grabbed Vicki's shaky hand and their eyes met. "You know how I feel about you and I know how you feel about me. That's all that matters to me." She squeezed the hands in her own for a beat. "Who cares about what everyone else knows?" 

Alex pushed a stray lock of light brown hair behind Vicki's ear. Vicki smiled at her, and it was one of the smiles that Alex loved. Her face was relaxed and - just - _happy._

Vicki leaned into Alex's shoulder and then turned to kiss her jaw, cheek, then lips where they stayed for a happy minute or two as Alex kissed her back. 

They eventually pulled away to breathe, their foreheads gently pressed together. "If you didn't have to worry about the consequences with your family, would you want to come out?" Alex asked quietly, trying not to disturb their peace. 

Vicki squirmed as she thought, breaking contact between the two, "maybe? I don't know." She grabbed the pen that had fallen, forgotten on her lap and fidgeted with it.

"Is it me? Are you embarrassed?" Alex was not sure she wanted to know the answer, but she felt she needed to.

Vicki's blue eyes snapped to Alex's worried browns. "No." She said in a way much like Alex's one word reply just a couple minutes prior. "I mean, I may be embarrassed about dating girls… but not about dating you." She put her hand on Alex's arm. 

Alex smiled a sad smile, "so the only issue is that I am not a boy."

Vicki squeezed her arm, eyebrows furrowed together. "That's not what I meant."

Alex gave her a face that she was sure was unconvincing, but she tried to convey her understanding, "I know." She pulled her arm from Vicki's hand. "Let's just go back to doing our homework." 

Vicki nodded after a hesitant pause. She turned so she was perpendicular to Alex and resumed her homework while Alex tried to do the same, but couldn't commit completely to what she was working on.


	5. Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are not okay. Heartbreak ensues.

Alex began to eat with Kara and her friends during lunch instead of going off somewhere with her secret girlfriend, leaving Vicki to eat with her other friends. After about a week of joining Kara and her gang, Vicki walked past the table with an impossibly sad glare (she had stopped by Alex's house the night before, it did not go well). Kara must have noticed because when Vicki was gone, Kara cleared her throat and Alex turned her attention to the blonde, "is everything okay between the two of you?"

Alex felt the way those bright blue eyes watched her. It was as though Kara already knew all the answers, making her want to tell Kara everything. "We just had a bit of a falling out." She shrugged, but knew from Kara's face that it failed in feigning nonchalance. She was going to need to work on that later.

The last ten minutes of lunch, Alex broke away from the group to wash her hands. She walked into the bathroom, but stopped when she saw Vicki was there, reapplying her make-up. She turned to leave, but paused when Vicki called her name, "please don't leave." She closed the container in her hand and turned to face Alex, her hands braced against the sink behind her. "We need to talk."

Alex was going to deny it, but when she saw the hurt in Vicki's eyes she decided not to. "We do," she began as she walked to the sink next to the other girl. She turned on the water, "can it wait until tonight? I think we both know it won't be an easy conversation, and you just did your make-up."

That got a little laugh from Vicki, which is what she was hoping for. She allowed herself a small, triumphant smile. "It's waterproof." Vicki countered, determined to have this conversation. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Alex glared back over the paper towel she was using to dry her hands. "I thought you said you could never have a girlfriend, so I didn't know breaking up was even possible." She threw the paper towel into the bin more violently than intended, thinking of the conversation the previous night. Vicki had said those words along with some others. Alex knew they were from fear and confusion, but they still hurt her deeper than she thought words ever could. "Or did you also not 'mean it that way'" she asked with air quotes, reminding Vicki of the talk they had a week prior. It was petty, Alex knew it, but she was hurting and her words came with revenge on her tongue.

Vicki's shoulders dropped in defeat, "Alex." She sounded broken. "Please. Don't do that. You _know_ what it's like for me, and -"

"You're right." Alex cut her off. "I _do_ know. I know what it's like for you and I can see that I am the reason for you lying to your friends and family. I see how much it kills you." Alex tried to hold back her tears. _She_ was not wearing waterproof make-up. "And _that_ is killing _me_."

Vicki stood there, not saying anything. Alex could see that she finally understood why Alex was pulling away. Vicki stepped closer, her emotions clearly conflicted.

"I care so much about you, Vic. I can't keep doing this. Not to you and not to me."

Vicki's arms wrapped around Alex in a tight embrace. "Okay." She said and Alex lost all the fight left in her as her body slumped into the body holding hers. "I still don't like it, but okay." She kissed Alex's cheek and pulled away. Their eyes met. Alex could feel the tears on her own cheeks falling alongside Vicki's.

"I'm sorry," Alex muttered. 

Vicki sniffed, "me too… do you think we can still be friends?"

Alex shrugged. "Maybe? But not right now. I don't - I don't think I could handle that right now."

Vicki nodded "okay. Maybe later." She kissed Alex's forehead. "Goodbye, Alex" was whispered before she walked out the bathroom door.

"Goodbye, Vicki," Alex muttered quietly as the bell signalling the end of lunch rang. Students started piling into the hallways. Alex just went home.

Her mother was there, working on some paperwork when Alex walked in. She looked up at the clock on the wall. It was clear she was about to ask her daughter why she was home so early, but she saw Alex's red rimmed eyes and mascara smudged tear lines and said nothing. Eliza Danvers walked to her daughter and circled her arms around the teenager.

Alex let go of what tears she had left and sobbed into her mother's shoulder. They rocked back and forth, soft murmurs promising everything would be _'okay'_ only making her cry harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the bit with Vicki was short and I clearly skipped a huge argument that I didn't feel like writing. So I didn't. Maybe I will later. Who knows?
> 
> Also. This story is getting less and less about dodgeball, so I will probably change the name of it soon-ish.


	6. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I am still getting used to AO3 and all of its quirks. I had no idea that I wouldn't be notified of subscribers or anyone following the story until last night. So, I am really sorry if the frequent edits and additions have been blowing up your inbox. I didn't know people could be following this story without my knowing.

Alex felt alone.

No one knew that she and Vicki had broken up. No one knew they even dated. That made Alex angry. She felt anger because she was not allowed to be sad, not really. Anger was easier to handle and plenty of people thought she was surly in the first place. Might as well be surly on occasion. 

She ran by herself, showing up earlier and starting before anyone else. Sometimes she even beat Coach Rollins, so she would start without him.

People around her gave her a wide berth, and when they were running they did not even comment when she took left them all behind.

All except Kara, of course.

Kara was not only the one person who could keep up, but was the one person who cared enough to push Alex to talk.

She heard footsteps gaining on her that could only belong to Kara. She kept running, hoping that maybe Kara would just pass her. The last few days since the break up, though, Kara would just catch up and keep pace with Alex. She would not say anything. They just ran together.

The friday morning practice after, Kara came up to Alex. She was filling her water bottle in order to disguise waiting for Vicki and her friends to leave the locker room; their lockers were right next to each other, so close proximity is otherwise inevitable. "Hey, have you ever been interested in endurance racing?" Kara said instead of a greeting to which she knew would only receive a grunt in return.

Alex stopped the water and screwed the cap on, not yet acknowledging the blonde's question. She inwardly smiled as Kara began to bounce from one foot to another, waiting for a reply. "Not really, but I don't see why I wouldn't." She liked running and right now she had things to run from. 

Kara beamed and nodded - probably more to herself than Alex. "Cool. My cousin and I are going running around one of the nearby state parks tomorrow. Do you want to come?" Kara's were high on her forehead as she asked her question. Alex could tell she was trying not to look too hopeful. 

Alex was not dumb, she knew what Kara was doing. She knew she was inviting her because, suddenly, Alex has been placed as a misfire in the social constructs of high school's vicious social circles and she is flying in to the rescue. But she needed _someone_ by her side and knew there was probably no one more loyal and supportive than the blonde girl next to her.

So she accepted, "yeah, that sounds good. Just text me where to be and when and I'll be there."

Kara's grin was as wide as she had ever seen it and Alex could swear her eyes were glowing. "I will!" She turned to walk away (probably so Alex wouldn't change her mind) but turned back, "I don't have your number?" She pulled out her phone and handed it over to Alex to type in her information. Then she was gone.

Alex smiled and realized she now felt less alone.


	7. The cactus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how, but the chapters got posted out of order. Sorry! This should be correct

People who plan things that require getting up before five in the morning should be imprisoned. At least Alex was recently used to getting up by six in order to make it to the school track by the time it opened. That is one good thing about breaking up, she supposes.

She had most of her stuff packed last night and was ready to go with plenty of time to spare. They wanted to get there just after sunrise, which in October was not until almost seven, but it took a little over an hour to get there. 

Alex had done a little research on the park Kara had told her about and it did look pretty cool. It was farther east of there beach city in southern California, on the edge of the desert. 

Alex would bet the stars were beautiful over there. She would have to revisit if she liked it well enough to drive the hour trip.

A little before six a car pulled into Alex's driveway and she was out the front door before Kara could even get out of the car to knock on it.

A tall, handsome young man with strong cheekbones and prominent chin got out of the car with Kara and walked around to shake Alex's hand. Kara introduced him as her cousin, Clark Kent. "He's a reporter for the Daily Planet, based in Metropolis, but he's here for an assignment on the ocean life activity and other environment stuff." Alex could tell she was proud of him. 

"You both moved from Metropolis? Did you move together?" Alex had known people sometimes had really close relationships with their cousins, but she only had three that lived on the other side of the country.

Kara blinked and then realization dawned on her, "oh! I thought you knew. Sorry. Clark took me under his wing four years ago, when my parents died. Well," she looked at Clark, who smiled a sad - yet warm - smile. "Both of us lost our parents in an accident. We are the only two of our family left."

Alex was floored. It was way too early for this. "I - I am sorry." She looked down, "I lost my father about three years ago. You don't get over it."

She met a kind, understanding smile on Kara's face. "No, you're right. You just learn to deal with it." She looked up at Clark, who shared a similar expression to his cousin. "Shall we go run?" Alex and Clark nodded and they all piled into the car without another word.

As they began their drive, Kara gave Alex a brief tour of the contents of the car; specifically of the stash of food she had in a big fabric bag and cooler, listing the contents from her head, unfurling (or later recurling) a finger with each item she could recall. 

By the time they reached the predetermined trailhead, the sun had cast a beautiful golden light on the dusty rocks. There were stark shadows on the giant cacti, standing triumphant despite the dry climate. 

There was something about one cactus in particular that sparked a resolve in Alex. There was nothing particularly impressive about it, it was just standing there: no water, no reprieving shade, nothing. Yet it thrived and greeted the sun's warmth like an old friend, reaching up as far as it can (and stabbing anyone who tried to stop it).

Alex smiled at the tail of her trail of thought. Yeah. She liked that cactus. She took a quick picture of it with her phone and strapped on her hydration pack. _Today is going to be a good day,_ she thought as she joined Kara and Clark at the trailhead.


	8. Point of Exhaustion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I do not run, at all. I am a touring cyclist, so I understand certain levels of extreme exhaustion, but not from running  
> 2\. I have been to California a grand total of two times  
> 3\. Because of these two things, the chances of inaccuracy are high  
> 4\. I think running is boring, so unless there is something important on a run, there will be no account of the actual run.

It was a good day. If by "good" one meant hot, dry, exhausting, long, blister causing, and filled with far too many loose rocks; yeah. It was a "good" day. 

Kara had warned Alex, who had run a good number of marathons before, that it was going to be long and exhausting. Alex just overestimated her own stamina and (apparently) balance. She almost fell in relief when she saw the parking lot where Clark's sedan was parked.

They had run about 27 miles of uneven terrain in just a little under 5 and a half hours, which Alex took as a win. She had finished marathons faster before, but none of them were that, well, _rocky._

Kara and Clark looked like they just finished a _much_ shorter race. Tired, sure, but nowhere near as worn out as the newbie.

Alex opened the door to the car and collapsed into her seat, hardly aware of the extra heat from the car. At least it was no longer summer and the car was only a little warmer than outside. Kara opened the other door in the back and loudly asked the other two what they would like as she haphazardly opened packages to her own food and cold-ish water bottles. 

Armed with snacks to get them back to life enough to make it to the local all-you-can-eat pancake house, they set off with the two cousins bickering over what music they were going to listen to (Clark won when Alex vetoed Kara's pick).

The pancake house was a mid-sized restaurant with an odd collection of desert knick-knacks and other random items. It had warm lighting and well broken-in booth benches. 

They consumed a _lot_ of pancakes. Well, mostly the two cousins, but Alex ate far more than she expected she even could. In her defense, they were delicious and she was tired and hungry.

After they had eaten, Clark had a phone call he could not ignore. Kara and Alex found a spot with a bench to sit. They were watching cars navigate the neighboring shops when Kara broke the silence between the two, "how are you holding up?" She almost sounded casual. Almost.

Alex stretched her legs and arms in assessment, sure there was a trap coming. "I am definitely going to be very sore the next few days, but I'll be alright."

Kara watched the brunette with a sympathetic expression as she extended her arms and legs, pulling on her own tight muscles, "me too, actually. That trail always takes a bit out of me more than others."

"It's a beautiful trail, though." 

"It is." Kara agreed as she brought her hands in her lap and she watched them intertwine with each other. "So…" she paused, as if unsure how to say something. "This past week - well, two weeks? But this past week especially - I've noticed that you have pulled away from others." Kara's blue eyes met Alex's browns for longer than she was comfortable with. She always felt like they cut right through her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Alex blinked a few times. She knew this was likely the direction Kara wanted to go before she accepted the invitation to join them, but had worn herself out from all the running - figurative and literal - and was now too tired to build her defenses back up. 

She thought about how to reply before speaking, eyes forward on the small town traffic, "I know you've noticed the tension between Vicki and I." Kara nodded and she continued, "Well… we had a falling from which I have no idea if we will ever recover." Alex's head hung as she slumped forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

Kara only gently patted Alex's shoulder, silently supporting her and encouraging her to continue.

"She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember… I used to tell her everything. And now..." her neck turned so her eyes could meet Kara's. She found herself too weak to keep fighting or hide the tears anymore. "How do you recover from that?"

Kara's hand moved to the other shoulder and pulled Alex into a side hug. She said nothing. And that was all Alex needed as she felt her burden lessen, knowing that someone finally knew what was going on. And that someone actually cared.

Alex managed to collect herself in time for Clark to finish his call and they all headed home in his car. With a stomach full on pancakes and wholly exhausted, Alex fell asleep on the ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am up for input on who Kara is currently dating. I have a couple of people that I can't decide on. 
> 
> Also. I can't decide whether or not to keep the pov solely on Alex or have it switch to Kara on occassion.
> 
> If you have any input, let me know. If not, that is okay. I'm a responsible adult and can figure it out on my own, if needed. 
> 
> ... But only if needed.


	9. Nine ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction of Sanvers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late. I'm tired. I didn't edit as much as usual. See first two points.

Six and a half years later:

After moving to National City a few months ago, _The Alien_ quickly became Alex's favorite bar. Sure, it was a little dive-y, but people left her alone. That was all she wanted. It was a bar where misfits went and that night (most nights), Alex felt like a misfit.

The week prior, another of the interns had figured out that Alex had finished med school three years younger than her peers. Having graduated high school just one semester shy of completing a bachelor's had given her a huge head start.

The shunning was slow, but prominent and more painful than Alex would have liked to admit. It was a kind of pain that she had not felt since high school, but back then Kara was there to pick up the pieces and create a space where Alex belonged. This time Kara was off somewhere writing about the recoil of a recent terrorist attack.

She missed her best friend.

Boy, they had good scotch here.

She was sipping on said scotch and playing a round of nine ball by herself (not enough people appreciate a good round of nine ball). Alex hit the cue ball into the one to break a new game just as a familiar voice called to her.

"I see you're having a party without me." The newcomer said as she walked up to Alex. "Is it too late for me to join in?"

Not at all surprised by the company, Alex grinned, "you know the fewer number of balls doesn't increase your chances of winning." She said as she grabbed a second cue and chalked it before handing it over.

A cocky smirk replied, "you wanna bet?"

"You know me, Sawyer. Name your price." Alex eyed Maggie as she lined up the rod with the solid white ball.

The ball hit its target, but just barely. The solid colored orbs weakly clacked together before quickly settling in their new places. "Oof." Maggie cringed to herself, "how about if I win, you let me finally take you on that date you agreed to, but we never scheduled."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "and if I win?" She lined up her shot and sunk a ball for emphasis. 

Maggie grinned, "if _you_ win, I will buy all your drinks for tonight, and will be your designated driver." Maggie set aside her own drink to prove her willingness to part with it.

Alex smirked. "So the stakes are, you either take me on a date in the near future, or you turn tonight into a date?"

Maggie nodded, "knowing my luck, both will be the case."

Alex glared at the other woman, "I have no intention of losing." She sunk another. "Just so we're clear."

"That's fine by me," Maggie shrugged. "I usually like to plan first dates and sweep a woman off her feet, but I gotta admit: I am becoming rather impatient, here."

Alex' shoulders sagged, "I know. I'm sorry. I promise I'm not avoiding you. I just - I'm "

"Tired? Busy? Mentally drained from everything?" Maggie raised her hand to rest on Alex's arm. "I get it. You're fresh out of med school, you're crazy busy interning and barely get enough sleep as it is." Alex managed to meet the young cop's warm brown eyes. They were kind, without any trace of the anger, frustration, or pain Alex had expected. "I am a cop. I have similar demands, so I am willing to work with you. Just give me an hour."

Alex bit her lower lip as her gaze lowered to the dirty floor. She nodded after a quiet moment. She could do an hour.

"Okay," she conceded. Then she met Maggie's bright smile with a glare before she could reply, "but I'm still not going to lose."

Maggie burst out laughing with her head thrown back, "you're on Danvers. You're on."


	10. Zumba for the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanvers impromptu first date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of like this chapter, but only kind of. My mom is visiting for three weeks (save me) so, I don't have the energy to do much editing. So, yeah. Enjoy or not, it's up to you.

Alex won. Naturally.

Maggie, for her part, smiled a dimpled smile and ordered another drink for Alex. They did not have much time left that night. Alex had to be up early and it was getting late. Showing up exhausted and hungover at the hospital would simply be a bad idea. Alex liked being a doctor and would prefer to remain a doctor.

So Alex was driven home after she finished her drink and they had played another (stakes free) game. Maggie's hand brushed against Alex's; it could have been mistaken as an accident, but the touch returned and Maggie's hand slid into Alex's, "do you mind if I hold this for a bit?" 

Maybe Alex was a little intoxicated, because she found the question incredibly adorable. Her cheeks felt warm and heart thrummed at the attention. She shook her head and squeezed the hand now entwined with her own. "You can hold it as long as you want." She knew her smile was probably goofy, but she could not care much less. 

She _really_ liked Maggie. Alex tried not to get distracted in how beautiful she was, or how smart and kind. Or how adorable it is when- okay, she got a little distracted. She blamed the drinks, but she only had a couple that were more than responsibly paced. It was still nice to have a scapegoat.

They pulled up to the parking lot of the apartment complex and Maggie walked Alex to the door. Wanting more time she knew she could not afford, she stalled: looking for her keys, fumbling with them, thanking Maggie for the impromptu date, stepping into her space, getting caught looking at her lips… she cleared her throat before taking a step back to regain distance. _Don't get hasty,_ she told herself as she took a deep breath of the cooling night air.

Maggie definitely caught on to Alex's hints and hesitation. She followed Alex's back step with her own forward. "So," she began and Alex felt her heart joining a Zumba class. Maggie's eyes met hers and Alex was lured in a step closer. She did not even bother to resist. "I normally don't kiss on a first date…" Maggie trailed off, and Alex hoped there was a "but" coming.

The shorter woman took a step just enough closer to tell Alex what her intentions were. "But" _I do love a good but_ , Alex thought to herself with an internal smirk. "Knowing our schedules, I will be fifty before it's appropriate to kiss you. Life is short, you know, and we should kiss the girls we want to kiss."

Alex knew what Maggie was likely to do, but still managed to be caught off guard when she closed the little bit of space between them, gently placed her hands on Alex's face and brought it to her level.

The kiss was short, but Alex would swear that it was the best kiss she had received to that point. Zumba class turned wild as her heart hammered in her chest. Alex felt like she was made for this moment. It felt nothing short of _right._

She sighed when Maggie pulled away. "Next week, I have Thursday evening off. Does that work for you?" 

Maggie grinned that tooth and dimple revealing grin Alex was quickly falling for, "if I am not already, I will make myself free."

Alex grinned back, "I will text you the details?"

"I'll be waiting." She said with a wink before walking off, leaving Alex to grin stupidly as she watched Maggie walk back to her car.

When she finally made it into her apartment, she flopped on her bed and woke up her phone. She wanted to shout to the world what just happened, but settled with texting it to her best friend. Kara would be happy for her.


	11. Kara Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara found bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad that the last two chapters have been so minimally Kara, so here's a Kara-centric/minimal Alex chapter. It's also the longest I've written for this story because I have a bit a background that needed laying out.
> 
> Enjoy

**Alex:** It finally happened!

Kara immediately knew what the text meant. Alex had only really been waiting for one thing - or one person. Kara smiled and quickly typed out a promise to call in the morning. She had an article to finish. Two, actually. One was a feel-good piece on a pizza place that just opened that gives free slices to those who need it. The other was for her _other_ identity: an exposé on a homegrown terrorist who "happened" to be a prominent businessman in more than just the city she lived. Lex Luthor and Luthorcorp were known throughout the world.

Kara wrote under a second identity to keep herself and her loved ones safe. It's something Clark, who writes under Kal L. Jordan, suggested. His own alias had received plenty of threats, so she trusted he had the right idea. The problem was that Kara was dating Lex's little sister and she had no idea Kara was Sue Perchick.

Kara was pretty certain Lena had no idea what Lex was up to. Lena may be a brilliant scientist and intimidating businesswoman, but she was not heartless. Far from it, in fact, and Kara loved her for it.  
She needed to tell Lena. She needed to tell her everything. Before the rest of the world finds out about her brother.

Kara sighed deeply as she sent off her work.

Morning was fast approaching and Kara typed out the pizza piece as quickly as she could so she could get some sleep before her morning flight back to National City. Where Lena was. She sunk into the hotel bed with thoughts of her girlfriend. She hoped Lena would be understanding, but Kara would have to worry about that later.

She did not sleep well that night, nor did she get any sleep more than a light doze here and there on the plane. She took the bus to her apartment since Lena and Alex both worked busy schedules. She liked the bus. 

It was mid-afternoon by the time she made it to her apartment. She had plans for Lena to come over that evening, which meant she had a few hours to sleep before getting ready for that.

Exhausted, she managed to not think of her girlfriend's terrorist brother, or secret identities, or - well, _anything_ , really. Welcomed by the comfort of her own bed, Kara gave in to sleep faster than she had in a long time.

She must have slept through her alarm (or maybe she forgot to set one), as she woke up to the sound of keys jingling in her apartment door. She darted out of her bed and threw on presentable clothing before stepping out of her room. With her hair thrown into a messy bun that may have failed at being cute.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she hastily ran over the conversation she had prepared to have with Lena. She was not as prepared as she would have liked, and knew it was going to suck.

Kara saw the woman who had entered her apartment and froze when it was not, in fact, Lena. There stood the only other person with a key, her best friend, loading food items into her fridge with her back to where Kara stood. 

"A-Alex?" She asked, surprised. The auburn haired woman straightened and faced the befuddled blonde with a smirk. "What are you doing here?"

Alex folded the empty canvas bag as she said, "I texted you about two hours ago, making sure you got home safe. When you didn't reply, I figured you were asleep, so I went and grabbed you some groceries. I didn't mean to wake you. You sounded exhausted this morning."

Kara almost toppled Alex over in a crushing hug. "I don't deserve you. You're the best."

Alex smiled warmly and returned the hug, "anytime, Kar. It's what family does." They enjoyed each other's warmth a moment longer before Alex broke away, "now, tell me what's bothering you. You were really cryptic over the phone, so I am assuming it is Sue Perchick related?"

Kara nodded solemnly and Alex grabbed a box of potstickers and a box of pizza that Kara only just noticed as they headed to the couch. Alex has always known her best.

Kara told Alex everything she could. It is what she has done for years. Alex was a steady sounding board to help Kara filter her rambling worried thoughts.

By the end of their food, Kara had finished filling Alex in and felt exponentially better. She even managed to get a shower and properly dressed afterwards. Knowing Lena would be coming over soon, Alex hugged Kara good-bye. "You've got this," she murmured into the taller woman's ear. "Text me when you can?" She asked, conveying the concern Kara knew she held for her. Kara nodded and saw Alex out. 

She did not know what to do with herself as she waited for Lena and found herself resorting to pacing and muttering her practiced lines as she wrung her fingers together.

Finally, Lena let herself in and was immediately wrapped by Kara's warm arms. They sunk into each other's embrace and exchanged greetings and kisses.

Kara asked Lena about her day and patiently waited through her rantings of privileged men unwilling to give her the autonomy she needed to make R&D (of which she was the head) truly thrive. She watched as raven hair fell from its bun and arms waved dramatically to enhance Lena's story telling. Wine was poured for both of them, but Kara had not touched hers after the initial sip.

Lena finished her venting and Kara smiled at the woman sharing the couch with her, "I am sorry you have to deal with that. _I_ would have given you full autonomy. You know what you're doing and deserve more than being micromanaged like that."

Lena smiled her appreciation, "thank you, darling. Now, how was your trip to Metropolis? Did anything newsworthy happen?" She asked with a coy smile on the edge of her wine glass before taking another sip. 

Kara's shoulders sagged. She knew Lena was joking and was unaware of what they uncovered. "Lena," Kara's eyes darted from Lena's as the humor fell from her face, understanding something serious needed to be discussed.

"There's something I need to tell you."


	12. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I apologize for over posting some days. I live in a constant state of exhausted and last time I tried to pace the chapters, they ended up out of order.
> 
> As for the story: I strongly dislike unnecessarily detailed conversations in stories, so I am skipping that bit. You will know what you need to know.

The conversation went… different than expected. Mostly. Kara expected shock, and there was definitely plenty of that. She expected Lena to ask if she was sure, but instead only asked a few questions for clarification. She expected crying, and there was enough of that to refill their wine glasses between the two of them. She expected anger directed at Kara for writing about her family, but Lena encouraged the truth to be shared. She expected Lena to feel like she could not trust Kara after she found out about her pseudonym, but Lena just nodded and agreed with the wisdom of having one and holding it secret.

All of those expectations Kara had led to the final expectation: Lena breaking up with her, or _at the very least,_ ask for some time apart. Neither came, and Kara cried in relief when Lena made her intentions to stay with Kara clear.

The kisses following were salted and desperate, just as vulnerable as the two felt after such a raw conversation. They lay on the couch together, Lena cuddled into Kara's torso. Lena was tracing mindless patterns into Kara's bicep as Kara ran her fingers through Lena's long black hair. It was peaceful. It was perfect. 

Exhausted from crying and both of their general long days, they drifted off while laying together on the couch. They would not dare risk moving and potentially disturb being so perfectly together and comfortable. So the couch was fine.

Kara had no idea how long she had been out, but the apartment windows revealed a completely darkened sky and that was all she had to go off of without risking moving and waking Lena. Which, when she looked down to the woman in her arms, she was startled to see a pair of sleepy green eyes watching her. 

"Hey," Kara muttered as she kissed Lena's hair. "Go back to sleep."

Lena just stared for a moment long enough for Kara to wonder if she mastered sleeping with her eyes open without Kara knowing. Lena's perfect eyebrows bunched together slightly before she spoke, "move in with me." Her voice belied her drowsiness, but still carried Lena-typical certainty and conviction.

Kara's eyes widened and Lena jumped right into her reasons, "we each have keys to each other's places, already. We both knew this was coming, and my place has better security, which knowing what we now know, is incredibly important. And, most importantly: I love you, Kara. I want to come _home to you_. Not just come over for an appointed time."

When Lena seemed to be done with her pitch, Kara pulled Lena closer to her so she could kiss her properly, "I would want nothing else. I love you, too. Completely." 

They enjoyed the warmth of the kisses that followed before Lena spoke again, we should get some proper sleep. On a proper bed."

Kara nodded her head in full agreement, but gently pushed Lena back into the couch, "in a minute."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may be thinking, "I thought this was a Kalex story?" It is. You just have to wait a bit. Enjoy some intermittent Supercorp and Sanvers in the meantime.


	13. Shovel Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara meets Maggie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had entertained three ideas before this one won out.  
> Enjoy

Kara was in a good mood. 

She was back in National City, she and Lena were especially happy, and the muffin she just ate was one of the best of her life (she may have been known for overusing a hyperbole, but she would swear that was not the case this time).

She refused to let anything spoil her day. 

So when a multi-car pile-up was assigned to her, her optimism had to work double-time. She arrived on the scene, showed her pass and walked past the yellow tape. Photos were taken and statements were made while the people who were able to go home waited for tow trucks and rides home. 

After she had done all she could at the scene, Kara was told to check in with the police station a few hours later for more details. When she did, an officer brought her to a desk and was told to wait.

Shortly after, the officer she was waiting for - Sawyer, she read on her tag - approached the desk and offered a coffee to Kara. "Don't get your hopes up, though. It's pretty bad." She said, grimacing after sipping her own as Kara accepted the offered beverage.

Officer Sawyer gave Kara all of the information she needed and by the time they were done, she sighed and collapsed back into the chair. "I could use a drink." She rubbed her eyes and pushed her hair out of her face in one swoop.

Kara nodded, her eyebrows raised, "yeah, today has been heavy." She grabbed her bag and started putting her things away. "Do you have long before you're done?"

The cop shook her head and smiled, "shift ended a few minutes ago, actually."

Kara's eyes widen and the other woman chuckled, "oh my gosh, I am so sorry. If I had known -"

She stopped when a hand came up in a halting motion across the desk, "it's alright. I really don't mind. Here, let me walk you out." They both gathered their belongings and headed to the door.

As they stood, Officer Sawyer's phone lit up and Kara accidentally caught a glimpse of who was on the lock screen. "Wait." The other woman stopped gathering her things and looked up at Kara with raised eyebrows, waiting. "Are you _Maggie_ Sawyer?" Her voice bordering shrill.

The shorter woman's face was slightly apprehensive, "yes? Is that alright?"

Kara's hand flew out in front of her, "No! I mean - I-I -" she cleared her throat. "Alex Danvers is my best friend."

Maggie's eyes widened and her grin returned, " _That's_ why your name was so familiar! I assumed I had just remembered your name from the paper."

Kara extended her hand with a wide grin, "well, it's good to meet you in this aspect, Maggie."

Maggie's hand met Kara's and they shook in greeting a second time that day. "Likewise, Kara. I have heard so much about you. Alex sees you as a sister, so it's important to me that we get along."

"Agreed." Kara said before her smile turned into a smirk, "I suppose I should have had a shovel talk ready or something."

Maggie chuckled, but Kara was pretty sure there was a hint of nervousness in it, "raincheck, maybe?" And they turned to head out of the precinct together.

Kara shrugged as they walked, "I've given a few shovel talks before, but not for Alex. You see," Kara paused as she shoved the last few items into her bags. She needed her hands free for this conversation. "Alex- she's an incredible human being, which I'm sure you have noticed." 

Maggie hummed her agreement, "I have noticed."

Kara nodded before continuing, "and she is so incredible, that there is no harm or damage I could promise that would leave you worse than the hole in your heart without Alexandra Danvers. I should know - we went to different universities on opposite sides of the country. I hated it so much, I flew back to wherever she was as often as I could until I graduated and we both settled in National City."

Maggie, Kara noticed, did not seem to mind her rambling and simply listened with a dimpled smile. "You two are something else." She shook her head before her face sombered. She met Kara's eyes with a fierce heat in her own, "I have no intention of hurting Alex. She means a lot to me, even though we have only been dating a few weeks, I plan to be with her for as many weeks as she will have me."

Kara nodded, pleased with Maggie's sincerity, "good, because I like you for Alex and would prefer not to have to hate you." 

Kara and Maggie parted after the reporter swooped the young police officer into a crushing hug, happy that Alex was going to be treasured. 

Yeah. It was still a good day.


	14. Maggie is not Totally Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie makea an observation and brings it up with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a lazy editor. Enjoy anyway.

"I met your friend the other day." Maggie stated as they settled onto the couch after an exhausting day for both of them.

She scoffed. She made it sound like Alex only had one, "which friend is this?"

Maggie tilted her head and squinted her eyes at Alex, who rolled her own eyes at the challenge and threw her hands in the air, "fine! How is Kara? It's been a couple days since I've seen her." Kara had been particularly busy with moving in with Lena and handling the work of two reporter identities, especially after the Lex Luthor article was published.

Maggie shrugged, "she seemed well enough. Nobody comes to the station to cover good news, so things were pretty heavy." She paused as she seemed to replay the accident that had caused too many deaths and injuries. Alex reached her hand over to Maggie's and gave it a gentle, but firm squeeze. It brought her girlfriend back to that day and she continued with a small smile, "she really cares about you, you know? She even gave me a bit of a shovel talk."

Alex's head tilted, curious, "a bit?"

Maggie just shook her head, clearly not wanting to give many details as she said, "she just made sure I knew to treasure you."

Alex's smile was warm - almost Kara-like, even. "yeah, she's good like that." She shook the hand in hers gently after a quiet pause, changing the subject, "what do we want for dinner?"

Dinner ordered, delivered, and eaten; Alex sat on the couch with Maggie's head resting in her lap, Alex's fingers were running through her hair as they watched one of the many cop shows. Maggie had her thinking face on as the actors moved and spoke dramatically across the screen. "Are you thinking about how inaccurate the show is? We could switch to something neither of us know anything about, you know?" Alex herself could not stand doctor shows, so she was always surprised when Maggie wanted to watch crime shows.

Maggie's head shook just barely under the fingertips lightly scratching her scalp as they combed through her hair. "No, just thinking."

"About?"

Maggie was quiet for a little bit before finally asking, "Were you and Kara ever a thing?"

Alex's hands stopped. That is not what she was expecting. "Uh - _No._ definitely not. She's basically my sister."

Maggie just hummed and kept her eyes on the screen.

"What made you think that we were?"

Maggie shrugged, "the way you two talk about each other has a reverence and respect that isn't quite as a best friend or sister, so I was just curious."

"Would it bother you if we had?"

Maggie broke her staring contact with the television to meet Alex's eyes. "No. Friends who get their lgbt friends are hard to come by, so I understand the 'holding on to ex-lovers' thing. I mean, I am still friends with a few of my exes, too."

Alex's face shifted from guarded to gentle, "yeah. I get that." Maggie had only just recently told Alex about her father kicking her out for asking another girl to a Valentine's dance. She could understand that.She resumed playing with Maggie's hair. "You're not totally wrong, though."

Maggie's eyes snapped to Alex's so quick Alex was afraid there would be some kind of eye whiplash. Although she was pretty sure that is not a thing. Pretty sure.

Alex took a deep breath; she actually had not told this to anyone. Not even her mom. "I actually had a pretty big crush on her for a little while our last year of high school."

"I knew it!" Maggie grinned triumphantly, "Did you ever tell her?"

Alex shook her head, "no way! She was dating some douchey dude-bro and was going off to college on the east coast, while I stayed on the west. I just wanted to stay friends, so I moved on."

Maggie watched Alex before gently saying, "okay. Once again, that makes sense." She settled back to her watching the show posture and smirked to herself and mumbled, "I am going to be a _great_ detective."

Maggie chuckled and Alex joined in, partly in relief to how understanding her girlfriend (newly confirmed) was about her friendship with Kara. Previous women Alex had dated (not that there were many) often tried to separate her from her best friend. And Alex _really_ liked Maggie. She actually wanted to see what kind of future they could build. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have taken up a pretty big project, so my posting times are just going to get more erratic for the foreseeable future. I don't think it'll get too bad, because I have a pretty good idea of what I want from this story, and am anxious to see it happen.


	15. Hospital Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gets hurt
> 
> Rating has been changed to teen for blood references

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me to my partner: I should probably change the rating to teen...  
> My partner: oooooohh! Getting _spicy_?  
> Me: What? No, the blood!
> 
> I am not a spicy writer.
> 
> I have added a blood warning for the references to blood. I don't think it's much, but I don't know where others draw the line, so I figured I would help out.

Being one of Kara's emergency contacts meant that every time she ended up a patient in the hospital (which was more frequent than most would expect), Alex got a call.

This time was different.

*-! Blood Warning!-*

Something had happened, but Alex did not have time to learn what before the ER was packed and Alex was literally up to her elbows in someone else's blood. While treating a patient with a piece of rebar through his arm, she heard a very distinct voice, "I am fine! Really, can I please just go sit over there? Most of this blood isn't even mine."

Alex felt a chill run down her spine. Kara was there. And she said _most_ , not _all_. She heard something about head wounds being a priority and felt cold. _Head wound. **Kara** _had a head wound. Alex knew Kara would wait for everyone to be seen before her, if she could. She had to do something about that.

Finishing up where she was, she made her way to where the voices were coming from. She saw the back of Kara's head, matted and dark red. She was holding her left shoulder weird, too. Alex picked up her pace, "Kara," she called out as she neared her best friend and the nurse speaking with her. "What is going on?"

*-! End Blood Warning!-*

Kara turned around and Alex's worry only slightly faded. She looked exhausted and hurt, but she seemed mostly in one piece - at first glance. Kara's face brightened as it always does with Alex, "Alex! Thank goodness you're here." She reached out in her naturally touchy habit, but stopped when she saw the mess on both of them. "Can you please tell Emily here that I am sturdier than I look," she waved to the increasingly impatient nurse when she said her name and looked at Alex with hopeful eyes.

Kara _was_ pretty sturdy, but that did not mean she was exempt from needing prompt medical attention, "how about I do the exam for you now, and we can let Nurse Emily help someone else instead of wasting time trying to convince you to get help?"

Kara's eyes widened at the implication that she was delaying treatment for others and nodded. Emily sighed in relief and walked off with no more than a nod to Alex.

They walked to a more appropriate location and Kara sat on one of the beds lined up against the wall as Alex pulled the privacy curtain closed. She took a deep breath before turning to Kara, trying not to lose her calm. _This is why you don't have family patients,_ she thought to herself. She tried to give a natural smile as she looked at Kara, but must have failed because she was the one who broke the uneasy silence, "it's worse than I thought, isn't it?" 

Her glasses had a small crack, Alex belatedly noticed as Kara's puppy eyes were unevenly magnified. It did not ruin the effect, though. Alex's shoulders dropped as anxiety, fear and anger began to take form. She had to hold it together, but the tears building up were making it really difficult. Another steadying breath, "I am not sure, yet. Head injuries are always unpredictable." She then pulled out a pen light, jumping right into the examination.

Pleased that Kara was mostly okay - a minor concussion, a pulled muscle and a laceration that only needed a few stitches, Alex could finally ask what happened. Unfortunately Kara did not know much as to why it happened, just that she was attending the new fair in town for a piece when there was a loud rumble followed by panicked screaming. Kara ran to see what it was when she ran into a fallen beam that she overestimated the height of in her haste.

"It was a mess, Alex." Kara slumped forward. She looked exhausted. "I helped where I could, but it was so hard to see. The air was cloudy with dust and maybe smoke?" She paused, eyebrows scrunched together; probably trying to remember if there even was a fire. "So many people were screaming, either hurt or looking for a loved one. Then there were those who couldn't scream." Alex noticed the blue of Kara's eyes shift to a distant stare. "People _died_ Alex! I was doing a story as _me_ this time." Her voice was beginning to break and she turned to Alex, desperate. "People aren't supposed to be hurt when I'm just Kara."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that George Lucas wanted to end 'A New Hope' right after the explosion of the death star? Thankfully, Joseph Campbell was like, "George, you can't do that. People like closure." And thus we have the little award ceremony end scene. Closure.
> 
> ...  
> ...  
> ...
> 
> I have no Joseph Campbell to say, "FB, people need more. You can't just end there."
> 
> So I'm ending it there.


	16. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A possible discovery and a confident promise are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me far too long to figure out how I wanted to do this chapter. Mostly because I didn't want to write this chapter. I just wanted to skip to the good stuff, but I finally forced myself to write it.  
> I'm not terribly proud of it, but I think it did what it is meant to do.

Cadmus, Kara learned, was known as a great hero in Greek mythology; not only did he slay monsters, but he also founded a major city of ancient Greece. He was also what the new terrorist group named itself after. Kara had only been home a few hours before they came out to claim credit for the damage done at the fair, claiming that the "alien infestation" needed to be resolved and that a fair funded by a company known for supporting diversity was an abomination.

Kara returned to her work as soon as her doctor (Alex) okayed it. Her role as Sue Perchick took over for weeks as Kara fought and fought again for answers that would lead to justice and peace.

The first answer, however, came at home. Kara had been sitting at the table of hers and Lena's newly decorated (i.e. Lena's old apartment with splashes of Kara) apartment, listening to another audio clipping released by Cadmus. Lena was nearby in the kitchen making herself a tea, casually listening in. She harumpfed to herself as the layered voices of Cadmus repeated their manifesto in the recording, "this just reminds me why I don't go home for the holidays anymore." Her voice was quiet and Kara just _barely_ heard what she had said. It had not even registered until Lena had picked up her properly prepared tea and sauntered off to the couch in the living room.

Kara's eyes widened as the words finally clicked and she immediately began opening old files from previous articles. Eventually she found what she was looking for: a quote by Lex Luthor himself regarding monster slayers of Greek mythology. Cadmus himself was listed along with Bellerophon, Apollo and Heracles. It was an old quote, maybe even a decade old, but a chill ran through Kara's spine that reinforced the idea that maybe, _maybe_ it was just a coincidence. Kara had her doubts.

"Lena" Kara called, just loud enough to reach the woman sitting on the couch, sipping her tea. She continued when she received a hum in response. "Has Lex always been a Greek mythology fan?"

Lena did not reply immediately, so Kara turned to face her and was not at all surprised to see elegantly shaped eyebrows scrunched together. "Yes," she finally said. It became clear soon that was not the reason for her hesitation as the next word came from her mouth, "why?"

Kara beckoned Lena to join her at the table she had commandeered as her desk and explained everything she had found. The farther she got into her explanations, the more worried she became. Lena's face showed no hint of relaxing as Kara pulled interview after interview up supporting her theory. Eventually, she came to a close.

There was no response.

Kara tentatively reached to grab Lena's hand in her own. "I can find someone else to take the Cadmus story."

Lena blinked and her face finally changed to a different expression, although Kara was unsure that confusion was a better emotion. "What - why? You have been working on this story for weeks. Why would you just give it up?"

Kara smiled a small, sweet smile, "because I love you." She punctuated her words with a quick kiss to Lena's cheek. "And I don't want to be the one to be a wedge between you and your brother."

Lena rolled her eyes, "darling, that role was filled by my mother _years_ ago." Her expression softened (finally) as she freed her hand and cupped Kara's cheek. "There is a truth that needs to be uncovered, and people need it to be done by someone who will report with a strong moral compass. I trust you."

"I don't even know if it is him…" she almost sounded like she believed there was a more plausible culprit. "But if it is, will _we_ be alright?"

Lena's face shifted again to a calm, assured, confident smile, "we will be." She gave Kara a brief kiss. "Always."


	17. Threat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am exhausted, so editing has been minimal and lazy.   
> Also. This chapter is short.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

Kara was obviously uncomfortable and Alex could tell she was considering saying something else. Alex glared at her until she squirmed in her seat and mumbled with little clarity, "Imayhavegottenafewdeaththreats," she took a deep breath and continued on, "Snapper thinks it will be good for me if I take a break from the Luthor coverage, so I was hoping you -"

Alex's brain finally caught up and she threw her hands up, cutting off whatever Kara was about to ask. "Wait." Kara stopped mid sentence and frowned, but waited anyway. "You've been getting _death threats!?_ "Alex could tell Kara immediately regretted telling her this new bit of information. "Since when?"

Fidgeting with her glasses, she muttered, "since the Luthor article." 

Her attempts to avoid Alex's gaze was obvious. Alex's jaw slackened in shock. " _Kara._ That was two _weeks_ ago!"

"I know, I just - I just didn't know what to do."

Alex saw that Kara was more than just embarrassed that she was only now bringing it up. She was also scared, but Alex had a feeling it was not the threat (threats?) alone, "does Lena know?" Kara's shoulders sagged and Kara looked almost broken. Alex reached out for her best friend and pulled her close, all anger gone. "Oh, Kara." She whispered against blonde hair as the other woman sunk into the embrace and began to shake as sobs broke free.

"She does know that I got one, but only one." Alex said nothing, just squeezed her arms tighter and waited. "She just - just _freaked_ , Alex. I have never seen her lose her cool like that."

Alex hummed as she thought. Lena was always the picture of poised and collected, but Alex could sympathize with losing her cool over the safety of Kara, who was the personification of a golden retriever. "Do you think she's just scared of losing you?"

Kara nodded and sighed, "I think that's it, yeah, but I don't want her to worry about me. Her own safety is so often at risk, and that's partly my doing. She's related to Lex." Kara looked drained, resigned. "I just want her to be happy and that includes her being safe."

Seeing Kara so broken hurt and Alex did not know how to help. So, instead of saying anything, they just sat together in a prolonged hug until Kara calmed down. 

"You know you need to tell her, right?" Alex said after they finally separated, turning to watch whatever they could on Netflix. 

Kara nodded, "yeah. I know."

Alex reached her hand to gently squeeze Kara's in comfort and support, "you two will figure it out."

Kara smiled, but her eyes remained sad. "Yeah. We will." She sounded unconvinced. She and Alex did not speak much the rest of the night and when the screen had asked if they were still watching, neither of them were awake to click continue.


	18. Irresponsible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanvers fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pulled a muscle in my neck, so I finally forced myself to write something as that requires minimal movement. 
> 
> I am trying to not just jump to the parts I am most excited about and it is hard. So, I am sorry if this chapter is not what you hoped it would be. I am not a fluff writer. Nor do I really have a fluffy relationship style irl, so yeah.
> 
> It is what it is, I suppose?

She woke to a nudge on her shoulder. "Danvers" came as a whisper shout. Alex grumbled and readjusted the blanket back to where it was before she was so rudely pushed. "Danvers, are you awake?"

"No." Alex gruffed out. "What kind of question is that?"

Alex felt Maggie's arm slide around her waist and pull her closer. She chuckled into her back, "sorry. I can't sleep. Do you want to go for a drive with me?"

Alex turned her head at that, "you mean on your new bike?"

She could see the dim lights reflecting the white of Maggie's teeth as she grinned, "that is what I mean."

Alex was exhausted and had _almost_ fallen fully asleep - a point to which she desperately wanted to return, but this was Maggie asking. And Maggie _did_ just buy a classic bike that Alex eagerly wanted to take for a spin. "I guess sleeping could wait." She turned fully and gave Maggie a warning glare, "but only a little while. I have to be up early."

Maggie rolled her eyes and sat up, pulling Alex with her. "You have to be up early every morning."

"So do you," came the counter.

Maggie nodded seriously before grinning again, leaning into Alex's shoulder. "True, but we're still young. We can afford to be a _little_ irresponsible." Her voice dropped to a whisper right next to Alex's ear, "so let's be irresponsible."

Alex felt a shiver from her ear down her spine and could no longer tell what Maggie's objective was. "Just to be clear, you want me to get dressed and get on your motorcycle with you, right?"

She could feel the lips pressed against the side of her face tighten into a smile, "for tonight, at least. We can discuss other… options… later." Now very much awake, Alex managed to pull herself out of bed and get appropriately dressed. 

The night was peaceful, the roads had quieted down, the lights on houses were low or off, the sound of frogs chirping as the night cooled filled the air before the low rumble of Maggie's bike came and shook the quiet. It was not an alarming noise, but it was enough to drown out the other sounds so all one would hear is the engine of the bike.

Alex typically preferred to drive, but she relished the feeling of Maggie in her arms as she wove in and out of neighborhoods with no specific destination in mind. She could smell the shampoo of her freshly washed hair and noticed that she had managed to steal one of Alex's jackets for the night. Maybe longer? She did not care. This was Maggie. 

About halfway through the ride, Alex found herself remembering how right it feels to be with Maggie. She wanted a future with this incredible woman. How soon is too soon to ask for that? Surely the six months they had been dating had been long enough to start talking about it - at least a little, right? She tightened her grip on Maggie for a quick hug as she thought of how much she loved the woman in front of her. She was sure Maggie felt the same way, but was still nervous that she might not. _Maybe I will bring it up tomorrow._ Alex promised herself that she would.

The drive ended as Maggie eventually pulled up into Alex's apartment complex. Alex started to pull her hands from Maggie's waist, but stopped when she felt the other woman's on top of hers. No words were exchanged, just body warmth and presence. A few minutes passed like that until her hands were released and she felt Maggie move to step off the bike.

"Well," Maggie said as she pulled off her helmet. "That was worth it, don't you think?"

Alex looked at the other woman, whom she wanted _everything_ with and knew, "everything with you is worth it."

Maggie's grin was blinding, and Alex did not even have the time to blush as she realized how corny she had just been as her mouth was suddenly busy kissing Maggie's. "What a charmer." She muttered against Alex's lips.

_Now_ Alex had time to blush as Maggie sauntered off after a sly smirk made its way back over her shoulder.

She could afford to be a little more irresponsible at times.


	19. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Sanvers fluff

Alex and Maggie were curled up against each other on Maggie's bed, attempting to fall asleep with little success. Alex had the exam interns have to take after the end of their first year of residency coming up and Maggie had her own stressful exam. "You ready for tomorrow?" Alex asked as she ran her fingers through Maggie's hair.

Maggie grunted, "ready as I can be, I suppose." Her borderline coherent words the only indication that she was closer to sleeping than Alex was. There was a small pause, "I don't know what will happen if I fail. I have put in so much work for this, Alex. It's all I ever wanted."

Alex's grip around her girlfriend tightened as her heart did the same, "things will be okay. You are going to rock this exam and then you're going to be the best detective you can possibly be. I believe in you." She kissed the back of Maggie's neck before continuing, "and, if for some inconceivable reason, you don't pass I will be here for you." 

Maggie hummed and wrapped her arms around Alex's, "yeah?"

Alex nodded, not bothering to move her head from Maggie's neck. "Yeah. I want to always be here for you - good times and bad."

She could feel Maggie smile against her own cheeks, "that's pretty big, Danvers. Are you saying you want a future with me?"

Alex pulled Maggie around so she could meet her eyes with her own. "I am saying that. I want everything with you." 

The humor fell from Maggie's eyes and Alex started to wonder if she was too bold. If it was too soon for this conversation. Luckily, before she could actually freak out, Maggie's face took on a soft smile and Alex had rarely seen her happier, "I want everything with you, too." She gently placed her hands on Alex's face and Alex closed the distance between the two of them for a kiss. It was not a long nor particularly passionate kiss, but it had promise of what they wanted: a life together, in the good, the bad, and all that.

When they broke apart, they both grinned at each other and Alex thought she could see tears gathering in Maggie's eyes, but it was hard to tell through the water threatening to fall from her own. She was just so happy. 

They settled back into their previous cuddle positions and muttered their visions of their futures together back and forth to each other, occasionally poking fun at the other when appropriate. 

Eventually one drifted off to sleep quickly followed by the other. Neither would later be able to tell you which, just that Maggie was wrapped in Alex's arms and they slept better than either had in a long time.

Maggie and Alex both passed their evaluations the next day and celebrated in the only way they knew how to: together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the fluff while you can


	20. Impressive clump of Noodles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a metaphor

"You and Maggie seem happy," Kara stated as they sat in the hospital cafeteria with their food. It was one of the rare days where Kara could actually meet with Alex for lunch, so long as they kept it in the hospital, just in case Alex was needed.

Alex grinned at her best friend as she broke apart her chopsticks. "We are happy, yeah." She swirled her utensils until she got an impressive clump of noodles ready, " she just made detective, I am now a second year resident, and we are in a good place in our relationship. I wouldn't mind spending my life with her, and it seems like she feels the same way." Alex shrugged as she tried to downplay how stupidly happy she was.

Kara knew better, though. Her eyes grew wide and misty as shes drew out a long "awe" before scrambling to hug Alex awkwardly over the aluminum table, bumping the grip Alex had on her food. "You two are perfect for each other." She happily took a bite of her own food, grinning with chipmunk cheeks at Alex as she chewed. "I can't wait to see the two of you as parents!" She started again when her mouth was no longer full. Kara knew how important being a mother was to Alex. "Oh I just know Maggie will be the best partner for you!"

Alex's smile slipped a little and her attempts at regathering her escaped noodles slowed as Kara continued to gush about Alex's potential future, vocalizing multiple scenarios colored with her own vivid imagination: "-and then you can get a dog and give her that _ridiculous_ name and -" Alex cut her off with a sharp "Kara" and she settled down with a small apology for getting carried away.

It was not the rambling that had bothered Alex, but the realization that over the hours of them talking, Maggie never mentioned wanting kids. To be fair, Alex only mentioned the possibility in passing, but Maggie had not even acknowledged it as an option. "I - uh - I don't actually know if Maggie even wants kids."

Kara clearly did not know how to react as her face went from incredulous to confused to sad, "oh. I thought - do you still want kids?"

Alex did not have to think about her answer, it has always been, "yes! Definitely. I just don't know how it was skipped in the conversation we had." Alex knew that Kara was right, though: Maggie would make an excellent mother, if she wanted to be one. "I'm sure it'll all be fine. I will just have to bring it up to her sometime later." Alex smiled at Kara, hoping she looked more confident than she felt. 

She was unsure why she was worried, really. They had been on the same page of everything (that mattered, at least) up to now. This should not be any different for them.

Right?

"How are you and Lena doing?" Alex changed the subject, wanting time to figure out how to bring up the kids topic with Maggie later.

Kara's smile fell a little as she dropped her head and began to play with her food. "We're good, yeah. She is still a little freaked out by the whole death threat thing." Kara shrugged, "apparently she thinks being in a public relationship with her puts me in more danger."

"Because she is also a public target?" 

Kara dropped her chopsticks in exasperation, "I think so? I mean - it kind of makes sense, but not many people know who Sue Perchick actually is! I'm not really in that much danger. Nothing has changed. I don't get why she's acting like everything has."

Alex waited to speak as she watched Kara breathe deeply to calm herself down, "maybe… maybe it changed how real all the threats are, you know? It wouldn't be that hard for someone to figure out that Sue is you and make you a real target."

Kara slumped into her chair, "yeah. You're right. I guess I just wish my job and her family would stop coming between us. We are more than a reporter and a Luthor, you know?" Her face suddenly looked tired and pleading as her eyes turned to Alex.

Alex did know. Kara had been her best friend for more than seven years and Alex had gotten to know Lena well enough to know there was no malicious intent to be found in the youngest Luthor. "I know, Kara. I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the next chapter all typed up, so just hang tight a minute


	21. Deal Breaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie have a talk on a potential deal breaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20 was posted right before this, so make sure you didn't miss it.

It had been a long day. Alex came home late and dropped her keys on the little table by the door and sat down next to Maggie in the same careless manner. She was exhausted.

Maggie chuckled as Alex's body haphazardly bumped into her. She looked and met tired eyes with her own beautiful brown eyes. Alex always loved Maggie's eyes. "Rough day?" Alex just nodded with a groan, collapsing onto Maggie's shoulder and snaking an arm around her waist. Maggie pulled Alex even closer to her, "tell me about it?" Her voice was warm and impossible for Alex to resist. 

So she did. She told Maggie of how frustrating her patients were being, refusing to follow the advice of doctors and choosing to rely on google or plant oils to cure everything. She spoke of how rude the other residents were still being to her. She spoke of the unrealistic demands placed on healthcare professionals in general, "... I am _so_ glad I am not a nurse…" 

Towards the end of her account, she told Maggie of a child who was so very sick, but they have no idea what is wrong with him, "I hate it, Maggie. We keep having to send him home because there is nothing we can do. He's just a kid. I just - I just hate it."

Maggie held onto Alex the entire time, alternating between rubbing her back and rocking slowly side to side. "I know, I hate it when it's a kid, too.

They stayed like that for a while - Alex was unsure of exactly how long, but they had finished the episode of the show Maggie had been watching and started a new one. So maybe about forty-five minutes? Something like that.

At the end of the second episode, Alex paused it before turning to Maggie, "sorry. I have been thinking about how to bring this up all day, but cannot for the life of me figure out how to."

Maggie looked concerned, but open, "okay. Just say it. We can go from there."

Alex took a deep breath, "you know how we were talking about our future the other night?" Maggie nodded with a happy, but still unsure smile. Alex also smiled as she continued, "thinking of that future with you makes me so incredibly happy. I wasn't exaggerating when I said I want everything with you." She grabbed and squeezed Maggie's hands, "I was just wondering if - for you, at least - everything included having kids?"

Realization and possibly fear crossed over Maggie's face before it settled on something soft, but otherwise unreadable. There was a pause as she determined what she wanted to say, "I have always imagined my future alone or at least with just a wife and maybe a dog. I have never wanted kids… and I don't think forcing myself to be on board with kids is a good idea, either. We would just end up resenting each other." 

Alex had spent all day since lunch with Kara preparing for this response. She nodded and squeezed Maggie's hands again and smiled, "you're right. That probably won't be a good idea." She tried to stay lighthearted as the next words were said, "okay, then. No kids. But we are definitely getting a dog. And I am naming her Gertrude."

Maggie's face was comically disgusted, "yeah, I'm going to blame that one on you being exhausted." They both chuckled and Maggie's eyes were again on Alex's, searching, "but we're okay? I mean - I am assuming you brought this up because you _do_ want kids?"

Alex smiled at her, fully aware she was unsuccessful in hiding all sadness or disappointment from it, "I do want kids, yes, but they are not a guarantee." She moved her hands to Maggie's face, stroking her cheeks lightly with her thumbs, "but you are here, _we_ can be a guarantee. And that is all I want." 

Maggie's eyes were shining and Alex knew that they were both just as scared of losing the other. That this was the conversation that could expose their deal breakers. Losing Maggie was unacceptable. They seemed to have the same thought as they pulled each other closer at the same time. Relief flooded Alex as their lips touched and they once again promised that they would always have each other.


	22. Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff with a topping of plot?

"Sawyer! Get your ass out of bed!" Alex was almost out the door, but Maggie had not bothered to budge from her spot on the mattress. _Her spot._ Alex tried not to get caught up in that thought for too long. They had been dating a little over a year by now. She should be over all the butterflies, right?

And now that song was stuck in her head.

The bedding moved lazily with a muffled grunt when Alex yelled out to her girlfriend a second time. She had a late start that day, but she still needed to get up. Healthy sleep habits and all that. "Come on. If you get up now I will still have time to make those coconut pancakes you love so much." 

The covers folded at the corner to reveal a grumpy mess of hair with a glare poking through. It was nowhere near intimidating and it took all of Alex's restraint to not laugh in Maggie's face. "No." Came the tired grumble. "I'm hibernating today."

Alex rolled her eyes, "oh come _on._ It's not that cold, you wimp." Alex and Maggie disagreed on appropriate apartment temperatures. Since it was getting a little colder outside, Alex like to keep it cooler in the apartment than in the summer. Maggie disagreed.

The nest of hair continued to murmur incoherent discontent remarks, throwing the blanket back over her head. 

Alex watched, completely amused, "you know, I _can_ carry you."

The blanket creased like a dog eared page of a book, "you wouldn't dare." The threat was once again completely lost amidst the careless strands of hair everywhere.

"Try me." Alex folded her arms over her chest and stood over Maggie.

Their staredown lasted a good minute before Alex got bored (or impatient) and leaned down and just scooped the other woman up in her arms. Maggie let out an undignified squeak that she would later deny with her soul, and wrapped her arms around Alex's neck. They both laughed lowly, leaning their foreheads together before Alex walked Maggie out of the bedroom.

"You know," Maggie started, meeting Alex's eyes with a surprisingly soft expression. "The bridal carry isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be."

Alex blushed, "yeah? Well maybe we can do this again sometime, but with the name more apropos?"

Maggie's eyes widened and Alex almost dropped her when she let go of Alex's neck, moving her hands to cover her mouth. "You want to marry me?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Alex raised an eyebrow. "I said 'everything' didn't I? I'm pretty sure marriage is part of everything."

Maggie hummed as she studied Alex's face. "Okay, but this doesn't count as a proposal." Her face turned to a scowl. "I want to be the one to ask."

Alex smirked, "so long as I get to carry you whenever I want for a whole week after you ask me."

Maggie tossed her head back as she laughed, "for your hand? You've got yourself a deal."

Alex grinned and put Maggie down just as her phone began to ring. She looked at the screen and frowned, _She never calls me,_ she thought as she accepted the call. "Hey Lena, what's up?"

"Alex, is Kara with you?" Lena sounded frantic.

"No. Is she supposed to be?"

A long sigh rushed over the speaker, "I haven't heard from her since yesterday. I have no idea where she could be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "Into You" by Paramore, in case you didn't catch it.
> 
> There is a 50% I will change the ending of this chapter as I am quickly losing interest in the direction this story is taking


	23. Kara Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is found and some aftermath

They found her in an abandoned warehouse just outside National City. She was tied up and unconscious on a chair in the middle of a poorly lit hole of a room. Crusted blood was flaking off of her lips and under her nose and there seemed to be some bruising around where she was tied, but she looked okay otherwise. Time would tell for sure.

There were images of her and Lena plastered on every wall, taking up most of the bare space. In these photos Lena's face was either angrily scribbled out or circled with words like, "traitor" and "die" on them. 

Kara's shirt had been painted on, too. The words were red and angry, "LEAVE LEX ALONE" was on the front and "OR WORSE WILL HAPPEN" on Kara's back.

Kara woke a few hours in the hospital to a slow beeping and _shuff shuff shuff shuff shuff… shuff shuff shuff shuff shuff_. Kara opened her eyes to see Lena pacing in the tiny room that only allowed her the five paces before she had to turn around. "Lena?" Kara was startled at how harsh her voice was, "wha- what happened?" Her lips pulled funny as she spoke and breathing through her nose was difficult.

Lena breathed deeply to calm herself. "We were hoping you could tell us that." She sat gingerly on the edge of Kara's bed. She looked scared to approach her, but Kara just wished she would come even closer and hold her. "Cadmus released another video of you with enough clues for us to figure out where you were kept, but we don't know much more than that." She paused while she played with the blanket over Kara's feet, her eyebrows knit together in thought. "I- they were targeting me, through you. You were endangered because of your connection to me."

Kara watched Lena worry at the fabric in her hands as she chewed her bottom lip. "I don't remember much, but even if that is true, don't you _dare_ blame yourself." Kara's conviction fell short with the rasps of her voice and Lena stood to get her some water. She came close enough to hand her the cup, but quickly retreated from Kara when the cup was secure in her hand. 

Kara frowned as she sipped the water, watching Lena keep her distance, "Lena" _ah, that's better_. "Why are you avoiding me?"

Lena stared at Kara and began twisting her fingers. "I- you-" she clasped her hands into a double fist. "I'm scared." Kara raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. "I am scared, because no matter what I choose at this point, I feel like I am going to lose you."

Her heart began to pick up, which Lena was well aware of thanks to the beeping monitors she was hooked up to. Everything became overwhelming too quick. The beeping, the soreness of her wrists, feet and face, her dry throat, the scratchy fabric of the blankets on her feet, the clear implication that Lena was breaking up with her, "w-wha- what are you saying?" She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She knew what Lena was saying.

"I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other. I can't ask you to risk your life like this anymore. I was a fool to think something like this would never happen." Her jaw was set in the way it would when she had made a decision. There was no talking her out of it.

That did not mean that Kara was not going to try, "But, Lena, it's _my_ life! Don't _I_ get a say in what risk it is worth?" She reached out for the woman she loved with both hands as tears began to fall down her cheeks, stinging the cuts on her lips, "please don't do this." 

Lena refused to meet Kara's gaze. "I'm so sorry. For everything." Kara could tell that she was fighting her own tears from the quiver in her voice. Lena turned to walk out of the room, pausing briefly at the door when Kara managed to sob out her name. She muttered something that did not quite make it over the sobs wracking from Kara's chest.

Then she was gone.

Kara collapsed back into her pillows. She did not know how much time had passed before she felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around hers. Kara knew those arms, she did not even bother opening her eyes to make sure the shoulder she was turning to did belong to her best friend. She knew. 

She let herself cry until she fell back asleep. Her eyes felt swollen and puffy when she woke up, still in Alex's arms, but she had fallen asleep, herself. She was wearing her hospital scrubs and coat and Kara realized which hospital she was in. Alex was there. Things sucked at that moment, but for a short moment, she knew things would be okay.


	24. Alex Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's side while waiting for Kara to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the last chapter was a bit rough, so here's another. It's not quite an apology, but I know some can sympathize with Alex when she goes mama bear for Kara's sake

Alex, as much as she hated it, had to work while the authorities looked for and, eventually, left to retrieve Kara. Maggie was there, though. She could trust Maggie to take care of her. She was able to force herself to focus on the tasks in front of her, but found herself distracted every spare moment she got. They were infrequent, sure, but often enough for others to start to notice.

"Dr. Danvers, are you okay?" Alex blinked when she belatedly registered the voice and turned to see Dr. J'onn J'onnz, chief of internal medicine, with fatherly concern evident on his face. He had been a family friend for decades and knew Alex since her early childhood and knew when she was stressed.

"I am…" she saw the look in his eyes shift to one demanding not to be lied to, so she continued, "not okay, sir. I am worried about Kara."

His gaze softened at the confession. He had heard what happened. He knew Kara, too. How could he not when he and Kara both were such staples in Alex's life? He placed a warm hand on her shoulder, "I understand. Take the time that you need. I will have someone else take your patients."

Alex shook her head, "being busy helps, actually." She then remembered the text Maggie had last sent her, "she is supposed to be coming to this hospital, though. Would it be possible to have someone take over then? I should only have 30 minutes left to my shift by then."

Dr. J'onnz looked at her and Alex always squirmed under that look because it felt like he was reading her mind. After he found whatever he was looking for in her face he simply nodded, "just stop before you do anything stupid. I'll go ask Vasquez if she can step in for you then."

Alex sighed with relief and turned back to the charts in front of her. Kara should be arriving any minute now.

It was obvious when Kara arrived at the hospital, as she was accompanied by multiple police officers and a few reporters whoeiwere found trying to sneak their way into the emergency room. The area, as a whole, became much more energetic as people scrambled either to help or satisfy their curiosity. The latter were chased off by Alex and Maggie, who came in shortly after Kara and her escorts.

Seeing Kara unconscious was hard for Alex. She was so used to Kara being so _alive_. Seeing her so bruised and swollen just did not sit right with her. She had seen her injured, sure, but never like this. 

Maggie sat with Alex with crap hospital coffee until Lena showed up. The three sat together, discussing what happened and what to expect from then on regarding Cadmus. The teams investigating Cadmus' activities expected things to only escalate until they slipped and were finally caught and put an end to. 

They sat for hours. Eventually Lena told Alex and Maggie to go home. She would text them when Kara was waking up. Maggie had to coerce Alex to leave Kara's side, agreeing to go to her apartment, which was at least closer.

Alex could not sleep. Not wanting to wake Maggie, she threw her work clothes back on and drove back to the hospital, where she could look into a few medical cases and at least do _something_ productive. She left a note for her sleeping girlfriend when she woke up and drove back.

Alex woke up to the buzz of her phone next to her ear with a terrible crick in her neck. She checked the time on her phone. She could not have been asleep for more than twenty minutes even though her neck suggested otherwise. She read the text responsible for waking her and straightened in her seat, ignoring the screaming of her body. 

Kara was awake.

Alex frowned as she read the last part of the text. Lena wanted Alex to wait ten minutes before going to see her. She glared at her phone, _what are you up to, Lena?_ She knew no further physical harm would come to Kara, not from Lena, but she knew the look of self-blame she saw in Lena's body language well. Someone, if not both of them could be in danger of getting hurt. Alex would give her six minutes. That was five more than she wanted to, but she had to clean up the desk she had commandeered and walk to the other side of the hospital (she would have run, but had already asked a lot of J'onn the last twenty-four hours).

When Alex finally got there, Lena was nowhere to be seen, but she could hear the soft sobbing in Kara's room from the hallway. _She didn't_. Alex rushed to Kara's bed and quickly enveloped her with her arms.

Kara was shaking as she cried, her hands grabbed Alex's arms and held on with as much strength as she could. Alex winced a little from the grip, but said nothing. Whimpers escaped from Kara's lips, three words on repeat: _no… Lena… gone…_ and Alex knew what happened. She was briefly torn between consoling Kara and going Luthor hunting. There was nothing that would have taken her from her spot at that moment, though. No matter how angry she was with Lena at the moment. She can address that later, but Kara was hurting _now_. She was going nowhere just yet.

After she managed to worm her way onto the bed next to Kara, she ran her fingers through her hair and just held her until she fell back asleep. Alex, exhausted, lacked the energy to find her way to a real bed - or even the armchair that unfolded into a bed-like arrangement next to the bed. She settled in next to her best friend, refusing to let go and closed her eyes. Kara was safe. Everything else they could tackle in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously need to sleep, but ideas for what to do next kept swarming in, so hopefully now that I got this chapter out I can get some sleep, right?


	25. Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short excerpt after Kara is back

"I just don't get how she could just leave so suddenly." Kara was curled up on herself on Alex's couch, blankets strewn around her so she looked not unlike a little bird waiting in its nest for mother bird to come home. 

She had lost weight and the bags under her eyes never seemed to be gone, even with makeup. Heartbreak could do that to you. She also was not sleeping and was scared of going places by herself. Alex noticed she keeps her back close to a wall whenever possible and jumps at unexpected noises. Trauma could do that to you.

Alex slowly and gently place a hand on Kara's knee, "I know it was sudden to you, but Lena had been waiting by your side for hours by herself. She probably ran every possible solution in her mind before coming to that decision." Alex hated that she was defending the woman who broke her best friend's heart. Hated that she supported the decision and reasons behind it.

Kara sniffed, "yeah… I guess. That doesn't make it any easier or less sudden for me. I mean, couldn't she have built up to it or something?" Tears were threatening to spill for not the first time that day. She was pulled into an embrace and just fell into Alex's arms, landing gracelessly on her shoulder.

Alex began stroking her hair, "I know. I hate that she handled it that way." And she did, but she also understood the need to say what needed to be said and run. Alex was no coward, but she did not think she would have been able to handle pretending everything was fine if she planned to break up with someone. Especially someone like Kara.

Kara had managed to cry herself back to sleep just before Maggie came home and Alex lifted the blonde and carried her into the spare bedroom. When she was happy with the way Kara was situated she softly padded out to meet her girlfriend who met Alex with a smirk and a kiss. 

"I wondered how you were so good with the bridal carry. You've had practice." Her face was smug with hints of humor and laughter.

Alex blushed, "I do work out, you know."

Maggie pulled Alex close, "oh, I'm well aware." Her voice jokingly seductive as she ran her arms over well toned biceps, "and I appreciate that _fully_."

"As long as I am appreciated." Alex chuckled as they exchanged a quick kiss.

"I would like to express my full appreciation, but we have a guest…" Maggie's eyes looked pointedly at the room Kara was staying in. 

Alex blushed at Maggie's insinuation, "it'll only be until she finds an apartment. Then we can make good on that raincheck?" She refused to be embarrassed by the hopeful tone in her voice.

Maggie smirked, "about that. What is this place's policy on subleasing?"

Alex raised an eyebrow, "I would have to check, why?" 

Maggie shoved her hands in her pockets the way she does when she gets nervous, "I was thinking it's about time you moved in with me and Kara could take on your lease?" Her voice raised at the end in the most adorable way that made Alex grin and just want to kiss her.

So she did.

Because she could.

"That sounds like a great idea." Followed by another kiss.

"Yeah?" And another.

"Yeah." And another.


	26. Kara After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara reminisces and tries to move forward.
> 
> Basically zero dialogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not terribly happy with this chapter, but here you go.

Even though Alex had technically moved in with Maggie, she still spent a lot of time in her old apartment - Kara's apartment, now. Kara frequently had nightmares that ended up with her screaming and pushing on towards a panic attack.

If Alex was not already there, she was the one Kara would call. Well, some of the times. Kara often felt that she was a burden on her, even though the sentiment was never one Alex expressed herself. Which is why she often just stayed at Kara's apartment.

Maggie impressed Kara with how unbelievably patient she was with her absent girlfriend. She knew that all they could do was steal brief moments together whenever they could, but it was never often nor long enough for the two of them. 

After two months had passed, Kara had decided that she was done with Alex giving up so much for her sake, "just because I am now single, doesn't mean that you have to be, too. Go spend time with Maggie. I'll be okay."

She had returned to work only a few weeks after she had been released from the hospital, and every day she threw as much of her as she could into reporting. She hated feeling helpless, and this was the only way she could fight back.

Her contact with Lena had been pretty minimal, a text here or there confirming details of where Lena should send Kara's things, but that was about it. Kara wanted to reach out, but she lacked the nerves, or strength, or bravery? Whatever it was, she lacked it. 

She missed Lena deeply.

They had known each other for a long time, Kara's cousin was best friends with Lex Luthor, after all. Kara had known Lena for almost as long as she had been living with Clark.

The two had hit it off quickly after meeting and became practically inseparable for their years in Metropolis. Leaving to live on the other side of the country was hard and their friendship dwindled to occasional texts and social media DMs.

Then Kara went to a University on the east coast, and so did Lena. Not the same school, mind you, but they were suddenly close enough to be in Metropolis at the same time as the other.

That was when the spark between the two ignited. Kara was no longer awkwardly tall and unsure of what to do with her arms and Lena had grown from smart and shy to brilliant and confidant. Kara could not keep her eyes off her. Or thoughts.

Even after Clark and Lex had their historic fallout, Kara and Lena only grew closer.

Kara remembered how nervous she was that night she first asked Lena out. She got caught in a ramble and almost forgot to actually ask the question. Luckily, Lena found it adorable and said yes. They both kept saying yes from then on.

Until Lena apparently had enough and said no.

Kara shook herself out of her nostalgic reverie and continued typing her article. It was only a piece on a new non-profit for refugees locally established, but Kara was excited to write it. 

Whenever she could stop thinking about Lena, that is.

She had typed out most of her article, but reached a point where she could no longer focus, so she closed her laptop and headed home. Her new home. That was still weird.

Kara needed an outlet for her loneliness and pain. She knew that if Alex were in her shoes, it would be alcohol, but Kara could never stand the taste of it. She sat in her living room on her couch, flipping through options of available shows to watch before she had a flashback of that day where she and Alex really became friends. Smiling ever so little at the memory, she turned off the television.

In her closet she found a box that she had not yet unpacked. After a few minutes of scrounging around, she found what she was looking for. 

For the first time in too long, Kara put her running shoes on.


	27. Alex and Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena talk

Alex did not know why she was nervous. She had been here plenty of times before. It had just been a while and this was a different circumstance than any of the others. Straightening her posture, she took a deep breath before knocking on the door in front of her.

The call to enter came promptly and Alex took a deep breath right before entering the pristine office. Lena had been promoted when her brother was finally arrested and convicted of _most_ of his crimes. She looked mostly well, but this was the first time Alex had seen her since she broke up with Kara. It was probably the first time any of them had seen her - in person, at least. There certainly was plenty of news coverage of the newly appointed CEO for any of them to have seen.

It bothered her how well Lena seemed, but Lena was her friend. She had to remember that. "Lena," Alex greeted only a little short and somehow managing a little bit of warmth.

Lena looked up from the document she had been reading and had a look as if she had forgotten she just gave Alex permission to enter. Emotions passed over her face until it settled on a soft sad smile, "Alex." She stood and looked as if she wanted to walk around and hug the doctor, but was unsure what the tone of their meeting was. Alex saw the hesitation and made the decision for Lena, stretching out her own arms and meeting the CEO halfway.

"It's good to see you, Lena." Alex said as they embraced.

"It's good to see you, too." They broke from there hug and Lena took a step back, "though I must admit I am nervous as to the purpose of our meeting today." She returned to her chair and indicated chairs for Alex to choose to sit in.

Alex chuckled, "I did want to come and make good on some promises from a few years ago, but we're friends now, and I know you are hurting, too." 

"I deserve it," Lena's voice dripped of self-loathing disgust.

"Do you regret it?" 

Alex thought Lena would say yes after she had avoided Alex's eyes for too long. Eventually green met brown with resolution, "I don't regret what I did, just how I did it."

Alex asked no further questions regarding the reason of their breakup. That was not the reason she was there. "How are you doing?" 

Lena gave Alex a sharp look and Alex was _almost_ intimidated, but she softened her facial expressions. She looked tired. "I am adjusting. It's like losing an arm, or giving up an addiction. It still hurts, but I know normality will find its way back into my life. Eventually."

Alex nodded at that and they talked about Lena's current projects. Alex always appreciated Lena's drive and well applied intelligence, even if it took her a while to warm up to the youngest Luthor in the first place.

Alex returned to an empty home. Maggie had taken on more hours lately to hell solve some crucial cases, so Alex often came home to an empty home. She had to work early the next day, so she got ready for bed by herself and sent a goodnight text to her girlfriend and sent a text to Kara: _I saw Lena today. She is going to be okay. You both are._

She went to bed thinking about how everyone was going to be okay. That was all she wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am getting anxious to finish this story up, so if you're here for Sanvers, you may want to start getting ready to pack up. Sorry in adnvance.


	28. Mike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike Matthews is back in town, Alex and Kara talk about what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever have those times you wake up at far too early in the morning, but can't fall back asleep? 
> 
> Yeah?
> 
> Well, enjoy the products of my insomnia

"So I heard that Mike is in National City."

The fork full of waffles stopped on its trajectory towards Kara's mouth. She dropped her gaze from the gold and fluffy goodness and dropped her shoulders, "I know, he texted saying he wants to grab a coffee or something."

Alex felt a surge of anger; how dare he reach out to Kara so callously, "are you going to go?" Maybe her tone was a bit sharp, belying her stance on that idea.

Kara dropped her fork, collapsing back into her seat, "I don't know. I don't see what it would accomplish. He's insisted that he's changed, butso have I." She began poking her food with her fork, still heavily loaded. "It's not like I have been waiting for him or anything."

Alex felt relief settle the anger that was beginning to boil in her. Mike was… a complicated story for Kara. They were so completely infatuated with each other, they had not stopped to think if they were actually any good for each other. Then his squad got deployed overseas and he was no longer there. Kara had not heard from him in years. She could only hope that he was even still alive. Alex had not been there to help pick up the pieces, as she was on the other side of the country. She did what she could, but she was always afraid it was not enough.

"Do you _want_ to see him?" Alex's tone was soft, cautious; cautious for Kara or herself, she would not be able to say. Probably Kara.

 _Please say no._ Alex thought as Kara said, "I think I do. Just to see that he's okay and get some proper closure." Then she scoffed, "people walking out on me seems to be a theme in my life."

Without any thought, Alex's hand promptly found Kara's, "hey, that is not true. Those people just don't understand how incredible you are." She watched Kara's body continue to sag as she spoke. "I love you, Kar. I'm not the only one, either. Those of us smart enough to know better aren't going anywhere."

Kara nodded solemnly. Tears had started falling quietly down her cheeks before she looked up at Alex with a small lopsided smile, "did you just call _Lena Luthor_ dumb?"

Alex broke out into a grin, "I did. She's an absolute idiot, giving you up." She gave Kara's hand a quick pat. "She knows _that_ at least, so maybe he's not a total lost cause."

Kara gave a small chuckle at that. She then seemed to remember what started this particular thread, as her face stilled and she looked farther off as she thought, "I think - I think I will go see him. Just as friends, though."

Alex tried not to look disappointed, she really did. She's not entirely sure she was successful, "I hope you get the closure you need. You deserve to be happy and live without asking, 'what if'."

Kara gave her a look and Alex wondered if she had said something poorly, "thanks, Alex." She almost whispered with a small smile. "Thank you for always being here for me."

"I always will."


	29. Reverie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara contemplates her past while waiting for someone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just moved back to my home country after a year overseas and I am exhausted. Forgive any mistakes and delays. I am not even done moving. I'm visiting family for a week and then moving again.   
> Life.  
>  Gah.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Enjoy

Kara fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater as she waited at Noonan's. She had already ordered a cookie (or two - the cashier was cute and convinced her to try the pumpkin cookies. It was not that hard.)

He was running late.

Typical.

Kara checked her phone again. All there was on her screen was an unopened text from Alex. Nothing from Mike. She clicked off her phone and let it drop the few inches to the table with a loud clatter. _Woops._ she thought as she cringed at the noise.

She looked at the dark screen, now sitting accusingly quiet. She thought about opening the message from Alex, but knew what it would say. Kara grumbled to herself whatever variation she could of what she assumed was waiting for her on her phone. 

_He's not going to be any different, Kara._

_You deserve better, Kara._

_Just be careful, Kara._

It was annoying...ly sweet. Kara found herself thinking on all the times Alex was there for her… which was always. Even when Kara was too caught up in herself to be there for Alex. Kara felt unworthy for Alex Danvers. 

She had once wanted more than friendship with Alex… well, more than once. When she first joined Alex's class in high school, she immediately had a crush on her. So when Alex threw her that dodgeball, she took the offering of a chance of contact. She went home that day so hopeful that maybe she had a chance.

Then she saw her with Vicki. She pretended not to. It was too much of a shock to acknowledge. So she agreed to date Mike. Even though it was long distance. And he was a pompous punk. But he was sweet to Kara, mostly.

Then he went off to join the military, leaving Kara behind without anything more than an email. 

Then she went off to University on the east coast, near Clark and Lois. 

Before she met Lena, she had wanted to pursue something with Alex, but the other woman just did _not_ get the hint. The flights back to National City. The late night phone calls when Alex finally finished her day, the three hour time zone being nothing to Kara. The cuddles during movies. The hand holding. The playing with her hair. Kara thought her intentions were clear. 

But not clear enough, apparently.

There was Alex's fling with that one blonde - Sarah… something? And then a string of other short relationships. There was a point where Kara had thought Alex would date anyone.

Except Kara.

They had never developed into anything serious, but Kara still felt less than enough.

Then Kara met Lena. She had actually thought she had moved on from Alex by then. Until Lena broke up with her, and after Kara had cried for a few days, she found herself hoping maybe Alex would keep sticking around.

The problem was, she _liked_ Maggie for Alex. She loved how happy Alex was around her, how much she clearly treasured her. 

She did for Alex what Kara was too scared to do.

And now Alex was talking about marrying Maggie. Kara felt like she had to be happy for her, but sometimes, when she was alone, she found it incredibly difficult.

Like that moment. She was alone and nostalgic, wishing she was able to take her pumpkin cookie and go back home. Or for a run. A run would be good. A run with Alex, like they used to… 

Kara sighed heavily as she tried to think of anything, _anything_ else. She grabbed her phone as she slumped forward onto the table. She only had one unread message. Still.

Her finger hovered over the icon before she decided she was already deep enough in this rabbit hole. Might as well go a little further.

She clicked on the message with a held breath.

 **Alex:** I hope you get what you need today. Call me when you're done. 

Kara almost stroked the little heart emoji at the end of the text. It was so typically uncharacteristic of Alex, except when she messaged Kara. She never hesitated to convey emotions in the form of yellow disproportionate circular faces with her. They always made Kara feel special and loved.

Her smile fell as a shadow hovered over Kara's table and she slowly looked up, fully brought out of her reverie. Correction: two shadows. The man she once knew stood tall and had clearly matured in more than just having successfully grown a beard. Kara frowned as she noted the beautiful woman next to him. She did not know this woman. Nor was she expecting anyone other than Mike.

"Hey Kara, this is Imra. My wife."


	30. Married

"How did it go?" Alex asked over the phone as she excused herself from her coworkers.

"It was okay…" It was not okay. Alex could hear her pout through the speaker.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

A pause and a grumbling of "not really" made her smile a little to herself. As much as she wanted Kara to be happy, she always found the grumpy version of her adorable.

"It went that well, did it?"

Alex heard a small scoff and knew Kara had rolled her eyes. She did not need to be present to see it all. "I just - I just don't know how I feel about it, I guess?"

"What do you mean?" Alex's concern was not kept from her voice and she mentally started to prepare a Mike hunt.

Kara sighed and was most likely tugging at the sleeves of sweater she was probably wearing or fidgeting with her ever present glasses. "Well, for starters-" Alex tensed. That always meant there was a list. Mike had messed up. Bad. "He is now apparently _married._ " 

Alex felt an eyebrow shoot up. She was not expecting that. 

Kara continued, "and I don't know if I should feel relieved or annoyed at that. I mean. I _definitely_ don't want to date him again." Alex felt relief release the tension in her stomach. "But it still hurts to know that I wasn't good enough for him to want to commit to, you know?"

"Kara…" Alex sighed. "His choices are not a reflection of your worth. You are incredible. You always have been."

There was a pause before Kara sighed again. "I know" her voice droned, "I think I'm also jealous. And lonely."

"Jealous of his wife?"

"No. Of Mike. Imra is amazing, way better than he deserved. I can never seem to get someone at that level to stay interested in me." 

Alex was pretty sure Kara meant Lena, "Lena breaking up with you was also not a reflection of your worth. You and I both know she was _not_ out of your league."

There was another grumpy grumble, "pretty sure Lena would disagree."

"Lena's opinion stopped mattering when she decided to end your relationship. Same with Mike and all the other douchebags you've ever dated."

"Gee. Thanks."

"Seriously Kara. You have terrible taste in men." Alex teased.

"That's why I date women, too." Kara defended weakly.

Alex scoffed into her phone. "Is that right?"

"Yep. Women are clearly the superior sex." Alex knew she was being sarcastic, but that did not stop her from smiling widely at that. She hummed her agreement and they moved on to lighter topics before Alex had to return to the tasks ahead of her.

Alex was relieved that Kara seemed to only be bothered at a surface level. That she would be back to normal soon enough. And if not, Alex would be there. Alex would always be there.

Her workday ended and she checked her phone as she left the hospital. She had received two messages: one from Kara, thanking her for being there for her, even though it was nothing big; and another from Maggie, reminding Alex of their date. 

Alex checked the time in the top corner of the screen.

_Oops._

She had thirty minutes to get ready. She looked down at her scrubs, remembering what they had gone through that day, and grimaced. She was going to have to be late. _Sorry, Maggie._ she thought as she raced home, in desperate need of a shower


	31. Before Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex runs to her date with Maggie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but I didn't want to make it any longer. There is a second released at the same time. Make sure you read that one, too

Alex was trying not to look too frantic in her quick paced walk. She was _very_ late. This was getting to be too frequent of an occurrence, Alex knew it. 

She wished she never gave up running on a regular basis.

She was definitely sweating as she finally came up to the restaurant. Maggie was standing outside, hands in her leather jacket pockets and her head was tilted up to the night sky. Alex slowed her pace to admire how beautiful her girlfriend was, especially in that moment. She allowed her gaze to follow the profile of Maggie's face, appreciating every line, curve, and shadow. 

Alex sighed as her breath began to normalize. She loved this woman. She wanted to _marry_ this woman. Alex stepped into Maggie's peripheral and the shorter woman's head snapped to the right. A slow smile that Alex loved creeped its way on her face, crinkling at the corners of her eyes. "Hey sexy," Alex breathed as she stepped in to hug Maggie. "I am so sorry to be so late. Again."

Maggie shrugged, only barely losing her smile, "it happens. You're busy saving lives, and _I_ appreciate you in your scrubs, but I understand you wanting to change clothes." Maggie's face changed to a lopsided smirk and Alex could feel a blush spread up her neck. Maggie looped her arms around Alex again and pulled her tighter.

At a loss for words, Alex simply smiled and reciprocated Maggie's touch. "I love you," she managed to say when she was no longer flustered.

Full grin returning, Maggie gave Alex a quick kiss on the lips, "and I love you." They stood entangled for a brief moment before they broke the contact, "what do you say we get some food, yeah?"

Alex simply nodded and allowed Maggie to lead her by the hand into the building.


	32. After Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is wrong and Alex wants to figure out what.

Alex had thought the dinner was going well… well enough. Maggie seemed exhausted, distracted, or just caught up in her thoughts. Alex tried asking about it, but only got surface level answers. Alex assumed she had a hard case or something at work.

Other than that, they had a pleasant evening, having grabbed desserts on their way home (tiramisu for Maggie and ice cream for Alex) and settling down for a movie together at home.

Alex settled first on the couch and expected Maggie to join her against her shoulder as she normally does, but after puttering in the kitchen, Maggie sat with Alex on the couch, but there was little contact. She sat with her back straight cradling her tiramisu and newly acquired beer in her hands like a raccoon with a fresh stash of cat food.

On her third beer, Alex began to worry. Maggie had work the next day. She rarely drank if she had to go to work the next day. Alex watched her girlfriend down the drink, desperately searching for a way to approach her. Maggie set the empty bottle down, moving to get up again for another. Alex, without a fully formed plan, gently placed her hand on Maggie's before she stood up.

"Wait. Maggie." Maggie turned, slowly, to Alex. "Tell me about it?"

Maggie stood there, staring at Alex, "it's nothing. Just don't worry about it."

"You're on your third drink," Alex insisted, gently pulling Maggie to her. "It is _not_ nothing."

Maggie looked like she wanted to shrug out of her grasp, so Alex dropped the wrists in her hands. When Maggie made no move to leave, Alex cupped her hands around Maggie's back and resumed pulling her closer.

"Maggie." Her voice was low, gentle, and compelling. "Please."

She squirmed in Alex's arms, but did not fight the hold. "I - I… they offered me a promotion today."

Alex's jaw fell into a wide grin. "That's _amazing_ , babe!" Alex beamed up at Maggie, who did not seem to share her enthusiasm. "Why is this not amazing?"

"It's in Gotham."

"Oh." The arms around Maggie slackened.

"Yeah." Maggie's eyes refused to meet Alex's. "It's a _really_ good offer."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Alex… I don't know."


	33. Broken Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie discuss their future(s)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry in advance.

Maggie had managed to pull from Alex's embrace when her arms had gone slack at the news and stalked to the kitchen where the better (stronger) liquor was kept. Alex did nothing to stop her. She was going to need some, too.

"Are we going to talk about Gotham?" Alex hesitantly tried to start the conversation. 

Maggie shrugged grabbing scotch and glasses, "I don't know what to say, yet."

"Maggie…"

Glasses landed harshly on the counter, "I'm not ready to talk about it." It was not a yell, but her voice was abrupt and harsh. Alex froze, shocked. Maggie noticed her reaction and her posture softened. "I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted, can we discuss this tomorrow?"

Alex nodded, anxious to speak with a happier Maggie, and she was sure it showed. "Sure, tomorrow."

Maggie nodded and walked to the bedroom, rubbing at her eyes.

Alex slept on the couch, too scared that joining her would cause Maggie run off.

Then tomorrow came.

If Alex had seen this particular tomorrow coming, she would have spent all her yesterdays doing a few things differently. She would have come home as early as she could, as often as she could. She would have kissed Maggie harder and spontaneously visited her at work. She would have expressed her love to Maggie in all five love languages (Kara made her read the book) and then made up even more.

She might have even spent less time with Kara. 

She definitely would have done so much differently, but in retrospect she knew it would have still ended this way. Ultimately, they wanted different things and neither of them were willing to give those up. 

Maggie expressed wanting to stay for Alex, but also wanting to go. Alex offered to move with, to transfer to another residency program, to take a gap year, or just to follow her. She would figure it out, later.

She did not ask Maggie to stay, she could never hold her back.

Maggie refused to accept that offer. She did not want Alex to relocate just for her. Alex was unsure if she would be able to do long distance. She wanted to just be near Maggie.

Then there was Kara. Alex would have to be separated from her, again. 

Maggie must have been on the same train of thought, because as they spoke, Kara's name was mentioned. Alex was quickly brought out of her own thoughts, "what does Kara have to do with this," she asked, even though she had just been thinking exactly about what Kara had to do with this.

She shrugged, "I just feel like she would want you to stay. So that probably means you're going to stay."

"What does _that_ mean?" Alex asked, affronted.

"I'm not blind _or_ dumb, Alex! It's obvious she's more important to you than I am." Maggie's movements became wider and Alex could tell that _this_ was one of Maggie's bigger, more real concerns. 

"That is _not_ true!" The defense was weaker than she hoped, and she was not proud of it.

Maggie pointed her finger from the hand holding her water (thankfully, they were both sober), "I'm a detective, Alex! And a damn good one at that!" Her glass landed heavily on the table, "I tend to notice things, even if you have been in denial for the last nine years!"

Alex threw her hands up in exasperation, "That was a high school crush! I got _over_ it."

She was met with a glare from Maggie, her gaze piercing through Alex. "Did you? It's really hard to tell when you go crazy every time she gets hurt."

They had this conversation before, and Alex was getting tired of it, "Maggie, she's my best friend. She's practically my-"

"Sister." Maggie finished. "Yeah yeah. I know, that's what you always say."

"I - I just want to have a future with you…" Alex was fumbling and she knew it.

"A future where I won't let you have the kids you've always wanted?" Maggie grumbled into her glass, throwing back the rest of her water as if it were something stronger.

Alex was unsure if she heard correctly - she did not want to believe she heard it correctly, "What? I - I thought we moved past that. I don't want kids if it means losing you."

"Yeah, well. It's becoming more and more clear that I am completely under qualified to be your wife." Maggie continued to mutter just clear enough for Alex to barely hear as she poured another three fingers worth.

"This isn't a job application," Alex shot back.

"I've seen the look in your eyes." Maggie spoke as her own eyes _finally_ met Alex's.

That one was new, "What? What look?"

"The look whenever we pass a family. I see you watch a mother or father with a child and you get this look that _kills_ me. You could be an amazing mother, Alex. Just not with me."

"I told you, I don't want that."

"Yes, you do."

"No! I-"

"Stop it, Alex!" Maggie cut her off and Alex's jaw hung open for a moment before it snapped shut.

A painfully quiet moment passed before Alex spoke up, "Why are you fighting this? I love you, Maggie." Alex could feel tears building up in her eyes and hear her throat tighten and squeak.

Maggie's eyes and throat were in just as bad a state, "And I love you!" She squeaked, likely fighting painful sobs. " _So_ much. I have never loved like this before. I may never love like this again, but sometimes- sometimes love just isn't enough." 

They sat there in silence as tears poured down both their cheeks. 

"I think it will be best if I take the job in Gotham." Maggie eventually said as she managed to calm her tears and breathing.

Alex's eyes widened. She knew what Maggie meant, but did not want to believe it. "Oh - okay. I guess I will start looking for a hospital to transfer to and -"

"No Alex. _I_ am going to Gotham. I can't - I can't do this anymore."

Alex was a natural fighter, but so was Maggie. There was something in the rigidity of Maggie's posture, on her set jaw and the glare in her eyes, though, that told Alex she had already lost. He shoulders slumped. Alex gently took Maggie's hands in her own. "So this is it?"

Maggie managed to look Alex in the eyes, "this is it."

Alex pulled her closer to her body. Even after the conversation they just had, Maggie leaned into Alex's embrace. She tried to not get too hopeful. "I am going to miss you," Alex muttered into her hair as she enveloped her arms around the shorter woman.

Maggie squeezed her arms around Alex, "I'm going to miss you, too."

Alex pulled back to rest her forehead on Maggie's. "Are you sure about this?"

Maggie moved Alex's with her own so they both shook their heads. "No..." She sniffed and snuggled into Alex's shoulder.

They stood together as Alex went over their words, looking for any chance, "You wanted to be my wife?" The question cut through the silence.

Maggie buried her head deeper into Alex's neck and mumbled just loud enough, "I still do." She sniffed and took a deep breath, "but I can't be. Not like this."

Alex had to stamp down the urge to fight again. "Okay." Then she leaned back fully into Maggie's arms. At that moment, Alex wondered if she would regret what she was about to do, but she knew she would regret _not_ doing it.

Ever so slowly, she brought Maggie's face closer to her own, painfully cautious - waiting for Maggie to say something, do something, to tell Alex no.

Alex was almost surprised when she could feel her move to meet in the middle as they shared a tentative kiss that quickly grew desperate, passionate. Alex let her tears fall as they kissed, too scared to open her eyes; to see if Maggie was crying, too. She was terrified to end the kiss, knowing it was their last. Her hands cupped Maggie's face, so gently it reminded her of picking up a bird with a broken wing. Patient, yet desperate to hold. To help.

And maybe that's what their relationship had been. A bird with a broken wing, unable to fly and too afraid to accept help. 

Alex found it hard to believe that this was the first step in the right direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me


	34. Part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very aware that some of you are upset with the way last chapter happened. This chapter continues in that tone, so if you are all for Sanvers, I suggest you skip this chapter.
> 
> The rest of you: I am incredibly sleep deprived right now, so I apologize if this isn't your cup of tea, either.

Alex did not know how long Maggie had been awake when she woke up to an empty bed. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms one last time. Nothing had happened more than talking, crying and brief moments of laughter where they could forget what happened, but it was enough for them that night.

Alex wanted it to never end. To never let go. To never have to say goodbye.

But it did. She did. And she knew there was nothing stopping the goodbye to come.

She found Maggie in the living room, packing Alex's favorite of her jackets into a suitcase. Alex cleared her throat, "I'm going to miss seeing that jacket."

Maggie took a deep breath before turning around to meet Alex's sad gaze. She managed a smirk through her own gloomy features, "I am going to miss the way you look at me when I wear it." She turned to look down at the garment roughly thrown in her duffel, caressing it lightly with her fingertips. "Maybe I should leave it."

Alex watched Maggie as she stroked the soft dark material and stepped forward, "is there a way I could convince you to stay with it?" Her voice cracked, betraying her feelings rising up her throat and knocking at her tear-ducts. 

Maggie's hand stilled and her hair fell just right, so Alex could not see her face very well at all. As the seconds of stillness passed, Alex began to wonder if she had gone too far, if she should have given up or pretended to still be asleep. She probably should not have stayed there the night before in the first place.

A shift in Maggie's hair was the first break from Alex's panic. Her wavy brown hair rocked as Maggie slowly shook her head. There was a small sniff, "there really isn't." She faced Alex again, confirming the tears Alex suspected.

"What went wrong, Maggie?" Alex finally asked the question that she had been too scared to up to that point.

Maggie shrugged her shoulders as she raised her hands to her elbows, crossing her arms. "I-" she cleared her throat and wiped at her face before resuming her protected stance. "I realized that I could never make you as happy as you deserve." She raised her hand to stop Alex's protest. "I have been thinking about this for a long time, Alex. There was all that time you spent with Kara after her break up with Lena - that's when it started, I guess."

Alex wanted to wrap her arms around Maggie, to show her she was her happiness, but was too scared to do it. Too scared to spook Maggie away permanently. "But we work _so_ well together." Alex was not proud of the whine that slipped into her voice.

Maggie nodded and tightened her grasp on her arms. "We do, for now…" she rubbed her arms as she spoke, "but we won't much longer. I can't ask you to give up your dreams." Maggie's body language screamed defeat as her shoulders sagged, "Not for me."

"But-"

"Just stop it, Alex!" Maggie fisted and uncurled her hands a few times, seemingly to calm herself down. "I love you for fighting, but I need to do this." She grabbed her bag and threw a few more things in it before rushing to the door. She paused in the threshold before turning back to face Alex, who had not yet lost the battle over her tears. "Take care of yourself."

Alex watched as the door shut with a quiet click, numb. She knew the goodbye was coming. She knew it would hurt. She stood there, alone - waiting for the pain, tears and sobbing to come. 

She could not say for how long she stood there, unable to feel or process. All she knew was that when there was an urgent knock on the door, she barely heard it. She does not know how long the knocking persisted before a key rattled in the door knob and the door opened to reveal her visitor. She had hoped against all hope that Maggie would poke her head in and say she had changed her mind. That they could make it work.

So when a wild haired head of blonde hair appeared from behind the door with its frantic owner attached, Alex collapsed into the couch she was standing next to.

She had been abandoned. No matter how much warning she had - or could have - been given, she could not avoid the feeling of implosion as she pulled her legs to her chest and made herself as incredibly small as she could.

Alex's heart began to tighten as Kara rushed into the apartment and scooped Alex into her arms. Tears began to flow and her chest shook as sobs staggered out. Kara ran fingers through Alex's short hair, rocking her back and forth as she muttered soft words in her ear.

Alex fought to calm her breathing with little success. She clung to Kara, squeezing tighter than she ever had before. Later she would apologize for lack of restraint, but Kara seemed unfazed - unbothered by Alex's use of her full strength. 

She tried to speak, to explain what was going on, but all she could manage were two words, "she's gone," repeated and hardly coherent enough to understand.

Eventually, she fell asleep in Kara's arms, exhausted to the bone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is already written, so stay tuned.


	35. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara finds out what happened and rushes to Alex.

After being kidnapped and beaten, Kara made it a habit to not open the door when people show up unannounced. This time, however, she made an exception. She checked the security monitor Alex insisted on installing herself (where she obtained such fancy equipment, Kara did not ask) and was surprised to see the familiar woman on the other side of the door. Quickly throwing a sweater over her pajamas, she rushed to open the door. 

As the door opened, she forced a smile onto her face, "Maggie! What a surprise. Come on in." She poked her head out into the hallway to double check it was just her, and that there was no other, more familiar, presence approaching. "What's going on," she asked as she closed the door and followed the detective into her kitchen. "Is everything okay with Alex?"

Maggie began pacing, and it was making Kara nervous. "Actually, that's why I'm here," she said as she wrung her fingers together.

Something was not right.

"What's wrong?" She began to collect her things, ready to fly out the door.

"Look, Kara, I know you love Alex. And that she loves you, too. I know you both will say that it's strictly platonic, but I am pretty sure it's more than that. I just want her to be happy."

"Maggie…" Kara did not like the way this conversation was going. 

"And I think you both just need a push in the right direction." Maggie pushed her shaky hands against the air, emphasizing her point.

Kara's crinkle between her eyebrows was becoming more and more prominent. "Maggie, what did you do?"

The small woman stood smaller, before stretching her back straight as she drew a deep breath, "Take care of her, will you?"

Kara was gathering her stuff before Maggie had turned to exit. The door had been closed only a moment before she had thrown on a pair of shoes and practically flew out the door.

Luckily, Kara's apartment was only a twenty minute walk from Alex's. Kara ran it in six and a half. She would have been there sooner if it weren't for the stupid crossing lights taking forever. Not that she was timing it. Every second felt drawn out as she stood, bouncing on the balls of her feet at each intersection, waiting for the light to change. 

Finally, she climbed the last step to the right floor and she knocked on the door. She winced as it was harder than she had planned. 

There was no answer.

She knocked harder. Her knuckles stung as she waited again, still bouncing.

No answer again.

She pulled her keys out of her pocket and fumbled for the spare key Alex had given her when Alex moved in. For emergencies. Kara had never expected to use it before, but was glad to have it at that moment.

After finally locating the key, she opened the door and entered head first. She completely ignored the fly away hairs battering her face. She probably looked a mess. She did not care one bit about her appearance as she saw Alex crumple in on herself, racing to her side.

Kara could barely hear what Alex was muttering through her tears and pained breathing. She gathered the broken woman in her arms and rocked her, hoping to not only calm Alex down, but to calm down her own anger at Maggie. She had the perfect relationship with the perfect woman and threw it all away.

In that moment, for the first time ever, Kara wished she had given the detective a shovel talk she could make good on.

Not that she would, of course.

She held Alex's sobbing form until the crying turned to sniffles and finally evolved to quiet slow breathing. Kara lifted Alex as she had been lifted many times by her and carried her to her bed. She placed Alex down gently and debated whether or not it would be best to lay next to her or not. Kara stood there a minute before walking out to the kitchen, deciding making breakfast would be a better use of her time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm kay. I think I'll go hibernate for a minute
> 
> Also, I may have only recently watched all of season 4 of Supergirl and I have to say that I was rather underwhelmed.


	36. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is there for Alex, like a best friend should be

Just as Alex had been there for Kara, Kara was now there for her. Not that they were keeping track or anything. Kara will always be there for Alex, and she trusted Alex would do the same.

The first day after the break-up, Kara had managed to convince Alex to take the day off from work, but they both knew that she would only be able to get away with the one day. 

She stayed at Kara's apartment. It was an improvement over staying in the apartment Alex shared with Maggie, but it was still hard for her. Kara was living in Alex's old apartment, which still had plenty Maggie memories. They may have hurt more than the others, to be honest. Alex did not have the energy to compare the pain of the two places. It hurt. That was all she knew.

Burying her head in Kara's couch cushions quickly became her favorite way of dealing with the overwhelming feeling of being abandoned. The pillows were new to the place, and they smelled like Kara. When she closed her eyes and just took a breath, she was reminded of days eating ice cream and watching cheesy rom coms until she could slip an action movie into the mix. They brought her back to weekly game nights when they both lived in the same city and hours long video chats when they did not.

They reminded her of every time she had been in this situation, but with her head in Kara's lap as fingers ran through her hair. Alex realized she probably had cried on those pillows many, _many_ times before.

Kara (and her pillows, it would seem) was always there for her.

The last few days spent near Kara had been good for Alex. Healing. She had spent the first week working, crying or sleeping. She did her best not to let the situation affect her work, but whenever she was successful she would leave exhausted and almost immediately fall asleep. She had not actually seen very much of Kara; just the occasional greeting each morning as they got ready, and short briefings of each other's day in the evenings.

Alex found herself feeling a little guilty, like she was simply using Kara's friendship to have a place to stay (which she was working on). She most definitely was not avoiding Kara in any way, they were both just busy.

She was beginning to really miss her best friend.

The doorknob rattled with quiet clinking of keys, breaking Alex from her depressing pool of thought. She looked up from the pillow in her clutches as Kara walked in, arms loaded with food take out bags.

"Welcome back," Alex greeted in what she hoped was a successful attempt of being anything but surly (Kara's favorite word to describe her of late).

Kara startled at the greeting as if she had forgotten Alex was staying there, which was fair.

Dinner was a simple affair as they sat together, eating with comfortable conversation. Kara tucked into her many containers of food, offering plenty to Alex, who refused in favor of her leftover pizza; which Kara made puppy eyes at, so they both split their spoils. Sharing is caring, right?

"I was thinking - this is a bit random -" Kara said after a comfortable lull in conversation, she was holding a piece of pizza in her hand as she chewed thoughtfully, looking straight ahead at nothing in particular, "that this is only the second time that we are both single at the same time. The only other time was before I met Lena."

"That can't be right." Alex replied as she reached for the last slice on the plate, "what about after you broke up with Diana?"

Kara shook her head, "you were dating Sara Lance."

Alex cringed slightly at that, "I'm not sure you could call what we had 'dating'."

Kara shrugged, "I am counting it." Her words were short, just shy of real nonchalance.

Alex squinted her eyes, wondering what that was about, but decided to let it slide. For now.

"Adam Foster? There was a little overlap then, right?"

"You started dating Lucy right before we broke up."

They went back and forth a few more times before Alex looked at Kara for a few seconds, "you really remember all of this?"

Kara shrugged, "people leaving has been a sore spot for me." Her fingers began to fidget with the cuffs of her sweater as she looked down at her lap.

Alex knew that she meant more than ending a relationship. They had both lost loved ones. Being left behind hurt, no matter if it is by choice or not.

Alex refused to get stuck in that spiral. She clapped a hand on Kara's knee, "well. You will always have me."

Kara smiled at Alex, but it was not her usual smile. The edges around her eyes had stayed smooth, lacking their usual crinkles. Odd. "Yeah," Kara said. "We will always have each other. Best friends forever, right?"

Alex smiled at Kara, still unsure what was bugging her, "forever."


	37. Meeting Kate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara meets another billionaire and makes an important decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggle with writing Kara POV chapters sometimes, but I think this one turned out pretty alright.

Kara was lost in thought when she heard her name being called by the woman behind the front desk. She startled, quickly standing to be shown into the office of whom she was there to meet.

She had been assigned an interview with the cousin of Bruce Wayne, who has taken over his building (and legacy) over in Gotham after his sudden resignation from his job and city.

Kara had to admit that she was nervous about meeting the heiress. Her own cousin, Clark, had been rivals of sorts for years with Bruce. She had met him a few times, but had not heard much about this Katherine Kane. Hopefully she was not as… reckless as her cousin.

As she walked into the office, she noticed the woman sitting behind the desk was nothing like what Kara would have expected. She spent a decent amount of time around billionaires, but not one like the person in front of her. The woman stood, introduced herself as "Kate," and reached out a heavily tattooed arm. Kara stammered and blushed during her introduction, eliciting a smirk from the other woman. She was all confidence, with her leather jacket and stressed dark washed jeans surprisingly not misplaced in the formal office setting. Kara was pretty sure her blush only deepened. _She's so_ cool.

After typical Kara-fashioned fumbling and rambling was sorted, they jumped into the interview Kara was sent to do. She was a professional. She can talk with an attractive woman in a professional setting. Easy. 

_Ahem._

_______________

"And I think that is the end of the interview," Kara said as she closed her notebook and reached to turn off her recorder. She looked up to meet an intense stare coming across the desk. She was unable to stop the blush that crept across her face as she quickly swept up her things.

Kate's lopsided grin appeared again as she stood with Kara to walk her out, "it was a pleasure to meet you, Kara." She shook her hand and shifted back into a more relaxed posture as her hands tucked into her rear pockets and she stood leaning to one side. "How long are you in town?"

Kara was surprised at the question, but answered normally enough. "My cousin lives in Metropolis, so I will be just over the river for another couple of days."

Kate nodded as if Kara had said the right answer, "there is a gala of sorts tomorrow evening that we are throwing for veterans, if you're interested? It may give you a little more insight for your article." 

Kara's eyes widened at the suggestion, "oh. That - that's a good idea." She replied with only a little heat in her cheeks. She took a small step back, it was a minor shuffle, really. "I - um - I can only attend in a professional - or platonic - capacity, though." She fidgeted with her glasses, hoping she caused no offense.

Kate's eyebrow rose at the clarification. "There's someone else, isn't there?"

Kara nodded reluctantly, "it's hard to explain, really." Her fidgeting moved to the sleeves of her sweater.

Kate smiled an actual smile, "I can do friends. No need to explain." She moved to open the office door for Kara. "I will pick you up at 7, expect a text with more details later." 

Kara nodded with an "okay" and exchanged farewells before exiting the office and building. She went over the interview in her head as she walked to her bus stop. Eventually she found her thoughts circling around a different woman with dark hair, tough exterior, fondness for leather jackets and full of confidence. _Oh boy._ Kara thought to herself, _I definitely have a type_. She pulled out her phone and smiled when she saw that the woman she was thinking about had texted her.

**Alex:** How'd your interview go?

Kara replied and pocketed her phone, smiling to herself. She had been reluctant to pursue Alex fully, afraid it would ruin their long standing friendship. Especially with her recent break up with Maggie. That short interaction with Kate Kane, though, helped her realize a couple things: she could be just friends if that was all Alex wanted, and she would never know if she never asked.

With a new conviction, Kara could not wait to get back to National City. To Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get more Kalex from now on. Thank you for your patience.


	38. The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara talk about growth. Alex is clueless and blames the pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely planned this scene for later, but then this just happened. Still not sure how I feel about it.

"Have you ever thought about how big a role one choice a long time ago played in who you are today?" 

Kara stopped mid-chew to stare at Alex. They were sitting on her new-ish couch in her freshly moved into apartment. She had thought it was a simple question, but Kara was looking at her as if she had asked if she were an alien. Sometimes Kara was unpredictable, even to Alex. 

Sometimes _especially_ to Alex.

Her chewing picked back up at a hurried pace before she could clear what was in her mouth, "I have, actually." She moved to grab another potsticker, "why?" 

Alex shrugged her shoulders, "no real reason, I guess. I was just thinking about when you took me running after Vicki Donahue and I had … that huge falling out."

"You mean when you and Vicki broke up and I took you to the middle of the desert to run away from all your teenage problems?" Where did Kara learn to smirk? 

Alex's heart picked up a beat, but she just passed it off as too much pizza, maybe? It was nothing big. She quickly shook her head clear of her tangential thought, regrounding her original statement. Which was...

Right. Choices.

"Do you remember that cactus I had throughout college?" Alex began to play with the blanket on her lap. Why was she bringing this up, of all things? It was embarrassing.

Kara nodded slowly, crinkle present, "yeah, why?"

Alex sighed and got up from her spot on the couch. She quickly walked into her bedroom and soon resubmerged, holding a small crumpled photograph in her hands. She held it out to Kara with tense shoulders and hesitation. 

Kara took the photo with both hands extended to meet Alex's own two. Alex watched her turgn over the crumpled photo so she could actually see it, her heart doing its own flippin. This was so embarrassing. "Is this the cactus from that park?" Kara squinted at it then at Alex, confusion written across every feature. "Alex, I am really confused."

Taking a deep breath, Alex sat back down next to Kara before explaining, "that break up was really hard - not just because it was my first, but because I couldn't tell anyone about it. I felt so alone - I _wanted to be_ alone. I thought I would be stronger by myself." 

Kara grabbed her hand and Alex felt grounded, steady at the contact. She closed her eyes to calm the tears back down and took another breath, "but then you invited me to run harder than I have ever run before with you. I don't know why I let myself agree, but when I saw that cactus," Alex pointed to the photo with her free hand, "I felt like it was me. Strong, thriving, alone."

"And prickly." Kara interjected. "You were very prickly."

"Hey!" The indignant cry was promptly followed by a pillow to Kara's face.

Kara laughed freely as she removed the pillow and corrected her glasses, "fine. Surly."

Kara smiled wide as Alex rolled her eyes before continuing, "but it wasn't alone." Alex turned her head to fully look at Kara, "It had the sun."

Kara's smile turned softer than Alex had ever seen before (which was saying something). "You have many people who are your sun, Alex." She shook Alex's hand gently in her own, "we just want you to be happy."

Alex nodded at her words, ignoring the odd fluttering in her chest. She should have not tried keeping up with Kara's absurd eating habits. She was never an equal match. "I lost my best friend in a messy hidden relationship back then, but you stepped in and gave me a sister." 

She squeezed Kara's hand, who gave a brief squeeze in return, "I'll always be here for you, Alex." Her smile did not quite reach her eyes. Alex assumed that maybe she also was not feeling very well. That blasted pizza


	39. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara explains what she wishes she had done differently in their past

Kara felt sick. _Sister, she said._ She replayed the last few minutes over in her head. _That's worse than being friendzoned._

Which, to be fair, Kara and Alex had been friends over seven years. She knew she was in the friendzone.

While Kara was mulling in misery over her predicament, Alex must have been pondering the conversation on her own. Kara almost missed her picking up on the original subject, "what about things you would have changed?"

With her head tilted to one side and eyebrows scrunched together, Kara asked what she meant.

"I mean, do you ever think about what you would have changed?"

Kara fought the blush rising to her cheeks, desperately hoping Alex either did not notice or assumed she was thinking of something other than the times Kara had wondered what it felt like to hold hands - which they did do, but platonically. Always platonically. Kara responded before her mind thought of the _other_ things Kara wondered about, "I do, actually. Lately I've been thinking about it a lot." 

She made sure she did _not_ stare at her lips - which, by the way her eyes lit up were in a sly smile, "yeah?" Kara hated how she hoped Alex was thinking the same thing she was, especially after just being sister-zoned. "Like what?"

Frantically searching for something safe, Kara chose whatever memory first popped up, "remember Max Lord?" Alex nodded with one confused eyebrow raised, "I wish I punched him when I had the chance. He was so slimy. I can't believe he thought he was the cure for all lesbians."

Alex's sudden sputtering evolved to full-blown laughter. Her hands grabbed at her sides as she began to regain her breath. They gradually settled into a peaceful quiet, "is that really what you've been thinking about lately?"

 _Sometimes_ Kara thought Alex was wasted as a doctor. She would make an excellent secret agent if she ever wanted to be. Nothing gets past her.

Except for … you know… Kara's feelings for her.

"Not exactly…" Kara did not know if she was ready to tell Alex. Maybe just a hint, "there were just some… unresolved feelings that I wish I never passed up on expressing."

A smirk crossed Alex's lips, "you mean like your undying crush -" Kara's heart stopped "-on Principal Marsden?" Her shoulders built and released tension so quickly, Kara thought she may have pulled a muscle. For a second she thought Alex had known all along, but it looks like she was safe… is safe the right word?

"Yeah…" Kara replied with an uncomfortable side-eye and laugh. "Something like that."

Ever the perceptive friend, Alex schooled her teasing expression and even looked a little worried. "Hey," she placed a comforting hand on Kara's shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Scoffing and waving her hand in dismissal, Kara tried to distract from the issue, "no, it's okay. You've probably heard enough about my love life to last you a lifetime."

"Since when has that stopped you?"

Kara felt small, "since I'm pretty sure you wouldn't approve of who it is." She tucked her legs under her chin wishing it was her bright red ears, not the rest of her face, she could cover from Alex's scrutiny.

"Well, as long as it's not Cat Grant…" Alex started to joke, but stopped when her eyes met Kara's worried, terrified glare.

"It's you, Alex."

Alex became still, saying nothing until her eyes widened and jaw dropped as far as it could. 

Too long passed, but Kara refused to be the one to break it.

"Wait. What?" Her eyes were still huge.

Kara shrugged, “the biggest thing I wish I could have done differently, was being your friend.” When Alex’s shock shifted to a hurt expression, Kara realized what she just said. “I mean -” she rushed to explain, “being _just_ your friend.”

Alex still looked confused. Kara let her think about it for a few seconds before standing and began gathering her things, “I’m sorry. I made this awkward.” With everything collected, she took a deep breath and dropped her shoulders with the exhale, “I’m going to go home and we are both going to pretend we ended this conversation with Max Lord and then watched a movie.” She studied Alex’s face as she spoke, looking for anything to indicate that Alex wanted her to stay.

It never came.

One brief nod and Kara muttered an “okay” more to herself than the stunned woman on the couch and turned to walk out the door, pausing only to say goodbye loud enough for Alex to hear it.

Tears were in her eyes as she closed the door and began her walk home. 

What she did not know, is that if she had super hearing, she would have heard a quiet “wait” that came just a minute too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. That happened.
> 
> Still not sure how I feel about it.
> 
> I've been a bit busy and added the whole inktober challenge to my list of projects, so this story has been neglected a little. 
> 
> But not forgotten!
> 
> Anyway. If you are curious, I am posting my daily challenge fulfillment for inktober on instagram with @exponentialtangent as my handle. Some of it is alright. Most of it is mediocre or lazy at best. Not a place for fanart (except on occasion).


	40. Alex reacts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully many of you will be happy with this. I think it turned out alright.

Alex could not remember actively choosing to stand and run after Kara. When she realized what she _was_ doing, her bare feet were already grating against the cement between hers and Kara's apartments.

She may have stepped on something sharp, but she could not find it in her to care. She had to talk to Kara. She had to talk to her and tell her… 

Alex slowed her pace when she realized how little prepared she was for the conversation she wanted to have. 

Kara deserved a well thought out response. She deserved more than a frantic "I can't have you not in my life" conversation that was all Alex had prepared. It was all of which she was absolutely sure, though."

At the base of the apartment building Alex paused for a brief two seconds to find Kara's dark window. That was not a good sign. She thought of texting first, but was afraid of being rejected. 

Yeah. She knew it was ironic. And she recognized how much it sucked.

Alex jogged up the 3 flights of stairs, hoping something would come to her as she did.

Nothing did.

Finally, Alex resorted to her last tactic of stalling: catching her breath. Not that she needed to for terribly long (or at all, really - this used to be her apartment), but she took the time anyway.

It was not enough. But then again, nothing felt like it was enough; chasing after Kara later than she should have, taking so long to catch on to - or maybe just _believe_ what Kara was saying, not knowing how she, herself, felt in return. It was all too little, too late.

But it was all Alex had to offer. She could make up the deficit as she goes.

Right?

Hoping she had enough to keep her most important relationship alive, Alex raised her hand to knock on the door. The first was quiet, but if Kara was in the living room she would have heard it. She knocked again - louder - after no response. Kara would have heard it as long as she was not sleeping. 

Or crying. 

Thoughts of Kara curled up in a ball, crying because Alex was too emotionally illiterate to realize her best friend's feelings stirred a panic-fueled anger that had her knocking frantically on the door. 

When she realized how loud she was being, she slowed down and lowered her reddened knuckles to her side. Hopefully she did not wake the neighbors. What time was it, anyway? After realizing she left her phone on the table next to her couch, Alex sighed heavily against the door. Maybe Kara was asleep with headphones on. She did that sometimes.

She rested her head against her own knees. If Kara was asleep, Alex could just wait. Right there, leaning against the door.

Just waiting.

The smell of cinnamon was the first thing she noticed when she opened her eyes. The second thing was the pieces of wood pressing against her back. This couch always felt like it had a personal issue with Alex -

Wait. Couch?

Alex sat up; sure enough, she was on Kara's couch with the throw blanket over her legs and stomach. There was a bright green pair of fuzzy socks over Alex's (probably very raw) feet.

"You know," Alex startled at the sound, but quickly found it's creator sitting on the bar stool at her kitchen counter, "for someone who claims to hate romantic comedies, you sure did pull a pretty rom-com worthy stunt last night." Kara's lips were twisted into an unsure smirk, her crinkle fully present. She was slowly stirring whatever was in her mug, paying it little attention. Alex didn't say anything, afraid she was going to say the wrong thing, or scare her off. "You could have just texted. I'm not going to avoid you after dropping a huge emotional bomb on you."

This time, Alex felt able to clarify, "I had to come here. I still don't even know what to say, but I couldn't let you think I don't want you as a part of my life anymore." Her eyes filled with tears she did not want the other woman to see, she looked down as she picked at the blanket in her lap. She was already out of prepared material, but felt the need to go on, "I - I don't know how I feel about -" she cleared her throat and looked at the ceiling, took a deep breath before addressing Kara directly, "about you as more than a friend." Kara's features began to fall and tense at the same time. Alex hurried to continue, "but!" She raised her hand to physically indicate that Kara should let her explain before crumbling into a ball. "I am not opposed to figuring it out."

Crinkle appearing as she thought before Alex could see all tension and rejection melt away, "okay." Kara sat up with a small nod. "Does that mean you just want time to figure it out alone?"

Alex thought about it. Normally, she came to conclusions on her own, but sometimes sought input from only three people: her mother, Eliza; J'onn; and…

Kara.

"I think figuring it out together is perfectly reasonable. I mean, isn't that what dating is?"

At that, Kara lit up, "you would go on a date with me?" Her voice was soft, like she had been given something incredibly precious.

Alex raised an eyebrow in a mock challenge, "that depends, are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yes!" Kara jumped out of her chair so quickly, her seat clattered onto the floor. Kara looked at it with a wince before turning back to Alex and walking towards her with a happy jump in her steps. Alex's heartbeat picked up as she neared, hammering violently by time Kara stood right in front of her. Cautiously, Kara grabbed Alex's hands in her own, searching the auburn haired woman's eyes and body language telling her not to. Alex gave no indication that her actions were unwelcome.

Kara's eyes flitted between brown eyes before she carefully asked, "Alex Danvers, will you go on a date with me?"

Giving her a cheeky smile, Alex nodded, "that sounds wonderful."

Kara beamed at Alex and grabbed her around the waist and squeezed her with a tight hug. Alex returned the hug just as fierce. She could not prevent the quiet squeak that escaped her mouth when Kara picked her off the ground in celebration. They both laughed freely at that and Alex felt light. Like things could be good like this. Possibly better than good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I really only have a few chapters left in this story, so updates may continue to be less frequent.
> 
> Or they will be fluff chapters that I write for the sake of writing (basically how this story became the monster that it is)


	41. Pre-date jitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before the first date, anxieties appear and are addressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! I don't know about you all, but I just am coming back from an incredibly stressful weekend of spending WAY too much time with people who don't like me, I don't like them, but we have to spend it together anyway.
> 
> It was exhausting.
> 
> My eyes are burning from how tired I am.
> 
> Coffee is no longer helping.
> 
> I did zero editing. 
> 
> I'm only a little sorry.

Nervous was not the right adjective for how Alex felt. Unsure, maybe. Not uncomfortable - definitely not that. A little anxious, but not necessarily in a bad way? Okay, maybe a little in a bad way. She was scared: scared of messing things up so bad she and Kara would never be able to have a close friendship ever again. Scared of making the wrong decision and hurting Kara. Scared of what it would mean if anything went _right_ , just to go wrong all over again. 

Alex managed to survive Maggie walking away; she managed to survive losing Vicki Donahue’s friendship, but she would not have a Kara to help her survive losing her relationship with Kara.

_Calm down, Danvers._ Alex chided herself as she realized she was beginning the spiral. _It’s just a date. Nothing has happened yet._ She breathed in deeply, Kara was expected to arrive any minute now. Deep Exhale. It was just a date. To help her get to know Kara in a different setting. 

And now her spiral is accompanied with a blush as she absentmindedly fretted with her hair.

After the expected knock came, Alex opened the door to a sight that knocked the air out of her lungs; dressed comfortably in dark skinny jeans, a National City University tee with an ever-present cardigan, Kara had her hair flowing freely and was not wearing any glasses. She was beautiful. Of course, Alex had seen Kara with hair down and without glasses before, but this time it was _for Alex._ There was something about this already naturally attractive woman choosing to do something more for this date that made her heart dance. 

It was no slow waltz. No, this dance was a fast paced, chaotic dance that Alex did not know the steps to. It was the kind that ended up with more awkward flailing appendages than any kind of enviable grace.

"Uh." Was all that came from Alex's mouth as she took in her date's appearance.

Kara smiled gently and shuffled a little. Her hands were behind her back in that way Alex notices she does when she's nervous, with one arm bent at a right angle, grabbing the other arms by the shoulder. "Hey," Kara's voice was soft and quiet, "can I come in for a minute?"

Alex stepped aside to allow her in. Kara stepped inside and before Alex could even begin to overthink her wanting to come inside, she spoke, "I know this is weird for you," her first two fingers waved between the two of them as she began, "but I need you to know that no matter what happens between us - or what you decide you want - I will never _not_ be here for you." She took a step towards Alex, who was pretty sure she saw Kara's hands twitch before she had decided against grabbing Alex's own. "I will always be your friend."

Deep down, Alex knew that what Kara said would always be the case, but she was surprised by how relieved she felt hearing her say it. Her shoulders released tension she was unaware they were holding and she smiled as a soft puff of air escaped through her nose, "I know, Kara. I trust you." _Alex_ took the remaining step between them and gently took Kara's hands in her own, "I trust _us_." She gave both her hands a quick squeeze, "no matter what form we take."

Kara smiled brightly at Alex. Her eyes dropped from Alex's, staying on her lips long enough that Alex was almost certain Kara was going to kiss her. Just as Alex decided she would not be against that, Kara pulled away with a small cough, "well, I guess we should go?" 

Alex blinked at the loss of contact and release of nerves and stress as she tried to catch up with what just happened. Kara, who was waiting at the open door smiled gently at Alex, "don't worry." She spoke softly, as if Alex was about to run away, "I won't do anything without your express consent."

Alex nodded a little as she moved to follow Kara out of her apartment, grateful for how aware of Alex's worries and anxieties she was.

Yeah. This date might actually go well.


	42. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Alex on their first date. Kara freaks out a lot. Alex helps her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about this one, but here you go. 
> 
> Barely any editing has been done, so be warned: it's choppy.
> 
> I am pretty happy with the ending of the chapter, though.

Kara had a plan: deviate from the norm one degree at a time until Alex was sure with what she wanted. She drove Alex to the food truck rally they both loved, but rarely went to because it was on the opposite side of anything convenient to get to. Meaning there was little chase they would run into anyone they knew, so when Kara extended her hand to Alex with a careful, “is this okay,” Alex felt no pressure when she accepted it into her own. 

They could worry about telling their friends after they figured it all out for themselves.

After collecting their bounty of food (Kara had to get a little bit of something from just about every truck) they wandered off to a grassy segment of a nearby park. Kara brought a small old blanket which she spread out before waiting for Alex to sit down and following after. 

"This is cozy," Alex noted quietly.

Kara hummed her agreement as she arranged their food in front of them. She may have only then realized how close she would be to Alex and decided maybe a little busy work would be good for her nerves. It did nothing.

Alex must have noticed her anxiety because warm hands reached out to Kara's, stilling their unnecessary movements. Kara felt her whole body jolt to a stop. Slowly, her bright blue eyes met Alex's warm brown eyes. Kara loved those eyes which softened as they watched her, "hey." Alex muttered with a small smile, "why don't you sit next to me and eat your food?" She emphasized her point with a couple of small tugs on hands Kara was pretty sure were getting clammy.

Kara settled close to Alex who scooted even closer until their knees were touching as they both sat cross legged on the now-crowded blanket.

That helped calm Kara's nerves. Alex _had_ always been grounding for her.

Kara wanted little more than to lean in - just enough - and kiss her.

But she promised not to. Not until she knows it is okay. So she settled for tucking into the loaded crepe she got from a food truck. She has waited this long to date Alex, she could wait a little longer for the next steps.

If they came, that is. Kara loved that Alex was willing to try _them_ out, but she knew it could take awhile before Kara is convinced Alex is doing it for her own happiness, not just to avoid hurting Kara's feelings. That would hurt even more than being flat out rejected. Oh no - maybe Kara should have just kept her mouth shut that night. Maybe she should have just lived with an unrequited love for her best friend until Alex finally found happiness with someone else...

She moved on to the basket of poutine before she allowed herself too far down that spiral.

She felt a warm hand on her forearm and looked towards her date. Alex looked worried as she studied Kara's face for a second, "where did you go?"

Kara stopped herself from shoving a forkful of gravy covered fries that she was hardly even tasting, "what do you mean?"

Alex was clearly unimpressed with her feigned ignorance, "you started shoving food into your mouth and have only picked up speed. You're worried about something. Where did you go?"

Kara gulped even though she had no food in her mouth. She knew better than trying to hide something from Alex. She paused as she thought of how she wanted to word her concerns.

"I guess I'm just scared that you didn't feel like you could say no to this date," Kara stared at the food in her hands. She could not bring herself to look the other woman in the eye. "That you felt like you would lose me if you did."

Hand entered her fixed image of her food, removed the paper containers and gently set them down before grabbing Kara's hands. Again, she felt steady. A quiet, "look at me" coaxed her eyes to meet steady, convicted brown eyes, "I _am_ afraid that I'll lose you." Kara's heart sunk so quickly, she thought she might throw up. "But," Alex continued, "that's not why I agreed to this."

Kara's eyebrows lifted, easing some of the tension she had been building, "no?" Her voice was soft, curious.

Alex shook her head, her hair swaying gently against her face as she did, "No." She said it so simply, Kara knew it was the truth. "I want to see where this goes. I mean, I had a huge crush on you when we were in high school." Her cheeks turned a barely detectable shade of pink against the darkening skies, "Maggie even called me out on never having gotten over you."

Kara remembered the day Maggoe showed up at her door, pushing her to Alex, but she did not know that she had talked with Alex about it. Alex continued, "I think she may have been right, but I - I don't know." She shook her head a little, "I guess I just need some help sorting it all out, you know?"

Kara nodded slowly, processing. "What kind of help do you need, exactly?" Kara tried not to let her thoughts go crazy in any of the directions they were threatening to go. "Do you mean time? Space?" Kara offered up what she did not want to give, per se, but would for Alex.

Alex spoke her name so softly, it was like a gentle caress lifted her chin, telling her to look Alex in the eyes, "I need you to stop acting like there is no way I could say yes to you. Like there is no way we could be more than friends." Alex gingerly touched her face and she immediately leaned into it, eyes closed. "I need you to _trust_ me." Kara's eyes flew open to sincere brown eyes locked on hers, incredibly close. _So_ terrifyingly close. 

"I _really_ want to kiss you right now." Kara breathed out before she could stop herself.

Alex raised an eyebrow as she smirked. Kara's heart thundered greater than the lightning storms in the desert as Alex leaned closer, "then kiss me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muahahaha!
> 
> So close.


	43. Alex Realizes She's been an Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for.
> 
> Unless you are still hoping for Sanvers to get back together. This is not that moment...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on a roll from yesterday, so here is a little gift for sticking with me for 43 chapters!
> 
> Or if you skipped your way here, that's cool, too.
> 
> Anyway. Enjoy.

The sound of blood rushing pounded in Alex’s ears. She could swear she heard the blush on its way to her cheeks, ears and neck. _That was so cheesy,_ she thought to herself as Kara stared back at her. She had not moved except for her eyes, which widened and carefully searched Alex’s face.

Kara hesitantly opened her mouth, quickly shut it before finally speaking in that same soft tone she uses every time she realizes Alex wanted _this_ , “seriously?” She inched closer, careful. "Like - right now?" She was clearly giving Alex a chance to back out. She had embarrassed herself enough for one night, she was _not_ backing out. Not from this.

Not able to manage anything more than a small nod that bumped her forehead against Kara’s, Kara’s doubt fled her face, leaving behind a blinding smile. So Alex closed her eyes and leaned in.

The first contact was so soft, Alex was unclear if it actually happened or was just her imagination. She did not have to wonder for very long, because a second kiss came quick and was very much real.

Alex suddenly forgot about the flush and everything she could have been embarrassed about. She actually just forgot just about… everything even existed… except for Kara. And her mouth on Alex’s. And the small breath that escaped Kara’s lungs as Alex’s hand snuck up to the back of her neck, pulling her even closer.

As every cliched story that Kara loved reading and summarizing (gushing about) to Alex describes, this first kiss was far too short. Alex almost whimpered when Kara pulled away. Later, she would concede that it was better that they not get too caught up in that first kiss, but still. Alex was not happy about it.

She would just have to make up for it later.

Their foreheads touched as they sat, relishing in each other's presence. How had Alex missed this? For seven years she had been convinced there was nothing more than friendship to pursue, but now…

Now Alex realized how for someone so academically accomplished, she had been a bit of an idiot. Kara smiled and chuckled softly, "you're not an idiot." 

_Oh. I said that out loud._ Alex thought as she realized how Kara seemed to magically possess mind reading abilities. "I'm pretty sure not realizing that kissing you could easily be my new favorite thing for so long does _not_ make me a smart person." Her eyes cracked open as she spoke, almost afraid that this moment was actually a figment of her imagination all along.

Kara puckered her (very kissable) lips in thought and nodded against Alex's forehead, "true, but that doesn't make you an _idiot_..." She let her voice trail off until it turned into an adorable giggle when Alex pushed with a faux-offended scoff for not defending her.

Kara straightened back up, smile plastered wide on her face, "seriously, though. You are no idiot, Alex Danvers. We just weren't ready earlier." A small shiver followed Kara's hand as it lightly stroked her forearm. "Let's just accept it for what it is, yeah?"

Alex was distracted by the hand on her arm that was no longer moving, but still felt on fire. She realized that Kara had stopped speaking and vaguely knew what she was saying, so she just nodded with an "okay."

Kara patted her arm twice before lifting her hand to grab more food, "so," she started as she unwrapped kimchi tacos that were undoubtedly no longer warm, "kissing me may be one of your new favorite things?" 

Kara's smirk only grew as Alex's face heated up. _Be cool. You've got game, remember?_ "It _is_ a little unclear, but I'm sure I can tell you the results after a few more case studies…" She finished with a wink and a sly smile. It was cheesy, but she refused to be ashamed of it.

Alex could have sworn Kara's face darkened with a blush of her own. A piece of kimchi fell from the tortilla in her hand before she seemed to collect herself. "Uh - more definitely sounds like a good idea. Smart, even." She cleared her throat and set down her food to adjust glasses that she was not even wearing. Alex smirked, recognizing the nervous habit. Flirting was so much more fun when you know how to expertly read the person. Who knew?

Alex chuckled as Kara realized her hands had no glasses to fidget with. This time Kara lightly shoved Alex, "oh shush, you nerd."

They both enjoyed the moment of laughter together before continuing slowly making their way through the food in front of them, exchanging any stray thought they could think of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not expecting this story to run much longer. Maybe a few fluff chapters here and there and an epilogue of sorts... So yeah. Then on to the next monster!


	44. Ramblings and Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex realizes an important piece of information

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My partner has been working late nights and I'm bored, so here is another chapter

"Did you know some people use the cocoa bean the same way coffee is made?" Alex greeted Kara as she walked into Alex's kitchen, having been summoned by the smell of pancakes and bacon. It was Kara's first night staying over… in a more-than-friends capacity. Alex wanted to celebrate a little with breakfast. "They're toasted, ground up, and brewed into a bitter drink that is doctored up just like coffee can be."

Kara crinkled her nose as she accepted the hot chocolate Alex held in offering. Alex knew better than to give her coffee. "Why would _anyone_ misuse the cocoa bean like that?" She took a sip of her drink with a small hum, "see." She pointed at her mug, " _this_ is how to use a cocoa bean." 

Alex gave a lopsided smile as Kara came up to give Alex a quick kiss, "good morning." She muttered into soft blonde hair when Kara leaned into a hug with her steaming cup carefully kept at a non-endangering distance. 

A low chuckle rumbled in her ears, "good morning to you, too." Kara pulled back from the embrace and took another sip of her cocoa. "Can I help with anything?"

Alex smacked the hand sneaking for the cooling bacon that Alex had set aside, "hey!" Alex gave Kara a playful scowl, "tasting the food is not helping."

"Okay." Kara set down her mug carefully with both hands. "Can I help in an actually helpful way?"

Big blue eyes watched as Alex plated the last few pancakes with a smirk, "you ask as I finish up." Alex tried not to get distracted by how adorable her feigned innocence was.

Alex smiled wide as Kara laughed, "it's my superpower." Her eyes crinkled as she grabbed plates and utensils. "Besides you know I'm terrible at making pancakes. I could never master the perfect flip."

Nodding, Alex agreed, "yeah… pancakes are a little weird when they're scrambled."

Kara winced at that, "yeah… that did not make it on my highlight reel." She grabbed plates and utensils and they both sat at the breakfast bar with loaded plates.

________________________

Alex still had to work and could not call in sick, no matter how hard Kara tried to convince her to.

Work was the typical patients trying patience business, but Kara decided to help lighten Alex's mood by sending random updates of her day. 

She had just received one of these texts when Lucy joined her at a table in the hospital cafeteria, "oooh girl," she hooted in place of greeting, "who has you smiling like that?"

Alex rolled her eyes, “it’s just Kara. She met a dog today she wanted to show me.” 

Lucy watched her carefully, “Uh-huh…” she drew out the sound before taking a bite of her sandwich. “Are you two dating, yet?”

Alex sputtered her french fries. It was not as fluid as it would have been with a drink and half chewed potato bits pathetically flopped onto her scrubs. “Whaaaaaaat do you mean by thaaaaat?” Alex brushed crumbles from her lap distractedly.

Lucy looked about as far from impressed as she could possibly look, “please, you’ve been in love with that girl for as long as I’ve known you.”

“That’s an exaggeration.”

“Is it, though?” Lucy squinted at her, taking a sip of her drink.

“Yes. I have _not_ been in love with her for that long.” She decided to brave another fry, chomping away in spite.

“Haven’t you, though?” Lucy’s face stayed suspicious.

Alex threw the next stick of potato at Lucy, “stop it.” 

Lucy shrugged. “Alright, if you say so.”

Alex watched the other woman for a few seconds before believing that Lucy had given up the topic.

“But you should, if you aren’t.” _I should have known that was coming._ “Because she is definitely into you.”

Alex blushed at that, “Yeah. I know.” Lucy’s head pulled her spine straight as she sat with the posture of piqued interest. “We’ve been dating for a few weeks, actually.”

“I _knew_ it!” she grabbed her own phone and sent a quick text. “Ha. Vaz totally owes me fifty bucks.”

Dropping her jaw, Alex gaped at her, “you _bet_ on me!?” Another french fry was pelted at Lucy.

With a small shriek, Lucy shrunk under the table from the fries raining on her, “What did you expect? You’ve been in love with her for _ever_!” She peeked over the edge of the table when the fries seemed to stop. “Seriously though, Alex. You can be kind of dense at times.”

Alex knew this and was painfully aware of it lately. It was embarrassing. She said nothing as she thought of all the times Kara had either shown her or all but said how she felt about Alex.

Yep. She was a bit dense. It was humiliating.

Her phone buzzed with another text from Kara. She opened it as Lucy decided the coast was clear enough for her to come out from under the table. "Well, if you weren't in love with her before, you certainly are now." She had the gall to smirk.

Alex did not say anything. She actually wanted to eat her food, so she decided not to encourage conversation that would lead to her wanting to throw more of it. Instead, she thought about what Lucy said as she munched on her food. She knew she loved Kara, but was she _in love_ with her? She read the most recent text again and stared at the three little red heart emojis at the end. 

Maybe Alex had been even more clueless than she originally thought.

________________________

The more Alex thought about what Lucy said earlier in the day, she realized that she was probably right.

Not that she would ever tell Lucy that.

Falling in love with your best friend is quiet, peaceful, and powerful. So naturally, when Alex realized how she felt for Kara, she wanted to scream, or cry, or punch something. She was a doctor, so technically she probably shouldn't hit something. But she still wanted to. She would probably find an excuse to throw something at Lucy later. That could do it.

When she finally got home, Kara was there waiting for her with food in her arms. Alex's heart, for once, went from racing with anxiety to calm and sure at the sight of her girlfriend standing there, waiting for her to come home. 

Kara's eyes lit up as Alex walked up to the door, "hello, beautiful." She bent down to peck Alex on the lips. "I know we didn't have plans to see each other until tomorrow, but I thought you might appreciate some food waiting for you." She lifted the bags cradled in her arms and Alex's stomach grumbled as the smell of something fragrant met her nose.

She happily opened the door for Kara and grabbed a bag from her grasp, put it down and then did the same with the other. When Kara's arms were free, Alex turned back to Kara, gently cradled her face and pulled her down into a kiss. Yeah. Alex was in love with Kara and she was going to do everything she could to show her every chance she gets.

Eventually they both needed to breathe, so they pulled apart and rested their foreheads together. "Uhm." Kara spoke softly, "not that I will _ever_ complain about you kissing me like that, but what was that for?"

Alex smirked up at her, "I just realized something today, and wanted to share it with you."

Kara squinted as she thought what that something could be, "was it how great you are at kissing? Because you can share that with me as often as you'd like." There was a small smirk of her own on her lips.

With an impressed chuckle, Alex pulled Kara back in, "that was smooth." She muttered before their lips met again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit ramble-y, but it got the job done.


	45. Deal?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this may be the last for a few days... Maybe a week. So enjoy.

Alex was competitive in nature. It is what drove her to excel in many aspects of her life. She knew it was impossible to place first in everything, but still.

She had to try.

But when she anxiously blurted her revelation to Kara, even she knew that maybe it was too soon.

They had just finished eating after a long day in the hospital and Alex mentioned the bet her co-workers had going and how she was pretty sure she still has a piece of potato in her nasal cavity from when she almost choked on a fry.

She had her head laying in Kara's lap and was half asleep from Kara's fingers combing through her hair. They had laughed about something silly that they had both recalled when she sighed contentedly, "I love you." The words were soft and laced with drowsiness, but clear enough.

Kara's fingers stopped - just for a second - and Alex realized what she had done. Neither of them had said it since they started dating. It was not a rule of any sort or anything, but it was like they both knew that love took on a new meaning after that point.

Combing through her hair resumed as an equally soft, but far less sleepy, "I love you, too" was muttered back. 

Alex knew that Kara loved her and that Kara knew Alex loved _her_ , but she did not know if Kara knew Alex was _in love with_ her.

Determined to make herself clear, Alex sat herself up, "wait - No" she grunted and turned her full body towards Kara, "let me try that again:" she cleared her throat, "I love you." She gently placed her index finger on the other woman's lips before she could say it back. "I am _in love_ with you, Kara. I probably have been for an incredibly long time. I have been settling for a platonic relationship with you for so long and I am so _so **so**_ sorry."

Kara smiled sweetly at Alex and reached out to lightly touch her cheek just barely with the tips of her fingers. "I am completely in love with you, too." The touch transformed into a steady palm at the base of her neck, "and you are _not_ the only one to blame, here. There are plenty of times I could have told you before, but didn't. But we're here now."

Alex was learning to fear the smirk creeping its way onto Kara's lips, "but. If you feel so terrible, you can just say yes when I ask you to marry me and all will be forgiven." 

Her hand lifted from Alex's neck and she immediately felt cold, "wait. What?" Alex scrambled to get her thoughts back together. "You are planning on asking me to marry you?" Her jaw was low in her mouth, unsure what to think.

Kara's eyes widened. She must not have realized what she was saying. "Well, not _right now_ , or any time soon, really… but yes. If things go well between us, marriage is something I would eventually want." She grabbed Alex's hand. Contact always seemed so important to Kara, and Alex was not complaining. "I'm sorry if that scared you. I want us to take this at a reasonable pace. We shouldn't jump into anything just because we don't have to learn each other's favorite colors or anything like that."

Alex smiled, "yeah. I am not ready to answer a question of that caliber, yet." Her face shifted to a mock scowl, "besides, what makes you think _I_ wouldn't be the one to ask _you_?"

Kara laughed at Alex's eyebrow wiggle, "we both know I'm faster than you."

Alex gasped, affronted, "oh, it's _on_." She tackled Kara into the couch while tickling her sides, eliciting shrieks and peals of laughter that rang through her apartment. 

Alex was sitting on Kara's stomach when she finally relented, letting them both catch their breath. She looked down at blue eyes framed with a bright pink flush, blonde hair floating around her face. She was beautiful. And Alex loved her in every way possible. 

Kara watched her back as her breathing returned to normal. She smiled that impossibly infectious smile, "I love you." She pulled Alex into a kiss that lasted long enough for Alex to have to reposition from her awkward angle so she was laying on top of her, instead of sitting.

Alex may have forgotten what they were talking about before they ended up where they were, perfectly happy just making out with Kara. She was reminded, though, when they had switched to just cuddling while watching the latest Great British Baking Show episode. Kara pulled Alex into a tight hug and muttered quietly in her ears, "thank you." When Alex gave her an inquisitive look, she continued, "for saying it first. I - I know we've talked about this already, but I sometimes still wonder if you are doing this for me, but… but now I'm more confident than not. So yeah. Thanks."

Alex knew that was something Kara would struggle with for a while, and that she would have to let Kara realize that Alex meant it on her own. She committed at that moment to do what she could, even if it meant just being patient with her. But for that moment, she smiled and squeezed Kara tight with both arms, "I will tell you as many as you need to truly believe, and then every chance I get after that." She watched as Kara's eyes turned misty. "Deal?"

Kara nodded fervently as she hugged Alex with another fierce hug. "Deal."


	46. Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara arranges a double date with one of her friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of short, but I've been stuck on adding to it, so yeah.

Maybe it was a bad idea. Kara knew that Alex was finally getting comfortable with people knowing about their relationship, but they were still keeping it all low-key. Sure, they held hands and traded cheek kisses, but that honestly was not all that different from before they started dating.

"Did your friend say anything about how late she was running? Or just that she is?" Their hands were currently linked under the table, resting on Alex’s lap as she absentmindedly rubbed Kara’s knuckles with her thumb.

Kara turned to the view of the road from the window, as if she would see who they were waiting for, “Yeah, she should be here any minute.” Kate had reached out to Kara the week before, saying that she and her girlfriend would be in National City. Kara had not met (or even heard the name of) Kate's new love interest, so she did not know who else to expect and that made her nervous, for some reason. 

The bell attached to the front door rang, and Kara's face transformed from excited and hopeful to surprised and a little afraid when she saw who walked in. Kate Kane, fully armored in a leather jacket and jeans, led the way with another jacketed woman right behind her. The other woman had long, flowing dark hair, and one of the most recognizable dimpled smiles Kara had ever seen. 

" _Maggie!?_ " Alex must have been looking where Kara was, because voice was an octave higher. Her shoulders hunched as she ducked down a little, bright red from all the attention she suddenly brought on them. She cleared her throat and stood.

With Kara in tow, they walked to the entrance of Noonan's where Kate and Maggie stood. Maggie, to her credit, looked just as surprised as everyone else, "Alex. Hey," she was standing tall and tight, an odd combination with her arms crossed in front of her chest as her right arm picked at the material on her left arm. Her voice was also higher, but nowhere near the rise Alex had, "you're usually at work by now, so I didn't think I would see you." She trailed off as she studied Alex before turning to Kate, "this is Kate. My girlfriend. We both had business in National City, and Kate said that she had a friend she wanted to…" she became distracted from speaking when she noticed Kara wave at Kate with a small smile. "Oh." She turned back to Kate, "your friend is _Kara Zor-el?_."

Kate raised her arms defensively, "I had no idea you two know each other!" Maggie glared at her, "what? National City is huge! How could I know? That's like assuming you know Lena Luthor." 

Kate clearly thought that was a solid argument (and it was - or would have been) until Kara cringed. It had been a while since she thought of Lena. Kara lifted her hand to her glasses, "actually…" and looked sheepishly at Kate.

"You know Lena Luthor?" Her eyes were wide as her jaw dropped. She dropped her hands to her sides, "clearly this city is smaller than I thought."

"You'll get the hang of things after a few days, I'm sure. I'm Alex," Alex extended her hand with an almost sincere smile; Kara could tell this was uncomfortable for her. 

Yep. This was a bad idea.

"Kate Kane," replied the other woman as she shook Alex'a hand. "It's nice to finally put a name and face to Kara's girlfriend."

Kara watched as Maggie's eyebrows arched high, her eyes darted between Kate, Kara and Alex before settling on the hands connected between Kara and her girlfriend. Kara was not sure what she was expecting, but it was not the wide grin and excited, "I _knew_ it" that came from her mouth, her finger pointing its accusations.

Alex raised her free hand with a frustrated wave, "why does everyone keep saying that?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. That happened. I always meant to have Maggie and Alex continue to be friends, and this is the first step in that.


	47. Friends Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title pretty much sums it up

“Well, I’m going to go order,” Maggie’s shoulders were too tense and her voice too tight when she excused herself. Alex still knew when Maggie was uncomfortable, and it took a surprising effort not to immediately follow her and help. 

It is not that she wanted to be with Maggie again, but she supposed that some habits were hard to break. Even if it had been a while since she had last seen Maggie. Even if the last time she saw her, she was cleaning out all of her belongings from the apartment they shared. Even if the last view she had was a dark silhouette walking away through the blurred lens of teary eyes.

Alex felt the grip on her hand tighten and release as Kara summoned her back to the present. She blinked to see two pairs of blue eyes looking at her. Kara’s eyebrows were raised and pinched together, expressing her concern. Alex knew Kara was offering a chance to leave. To break away from a potentially painful and incredibly awkward situation. And Alex loved Kara for it, but she harbored no ill feelings towards Maggie. She still just wanted her to be happy. 

And if Maggie had never called things off between them, she may have forever wondered what could have happened with Kara. She really liked where she was in life at the moment. She was happy. So yeah, she wanted Maggie to have the same chance at happiness.

Smiling at Kara with the most reassuring smile she could muster, Alex pointed her free thumb in the direction that Maggie had just escaped to, "I am going to place our order, too." She squeezed Kara's hand and looked between Kara and Kate, "why don't you two go reclaim our table and catch up?"

Kara nodded and Alex excused her way to the line right behind her ex-girlfriend. She took a deep breath before finally approaching, "Maggie," she called softly, so as not to startle her. She flinched anyway, turning around slowly with wide eyes. 

The deep breath she took was almost imperceptible, and if Alex had not known Maggie as well as she did, she would have thought nothing of it. She was starting to regret following after her. “Alex, hey.” Her voice was strained as her eyes darted from Alex’s to the front of the counter they were slowly approaching.

“Hey, how are you doing,” Alex asked as she put her hands in her pockets, opening her posture into something unassuming and non-threatening.

Her face was still until a slow grimace crossed over Maggie’s face, “yeah, this is more than a little awkward.” Her hand scratched the back of her neck, “I can leave, if you want.”

Alex’s right hand shot out in a halting motion, “no! Don’t do that.” She cleared her throat, “I mean, if you really want to, that’s okay, I guess… but don't leave on my account." She waved her hand casually as she stuffed back in her rear pocket, "I mean - you're still important to me. I would like to be your friend, if that's okay with you?"

Maggie watched her for a few seconds, squinting with suspicion, "if you're sure…" Alex nodded her affirmative. It must have been convincing enough, because Maggie sighed and relaxed into a more Sawyer-natural stance. "I would love to be friends, Danvers. You'll always be important to me, too."

Maggie held out her hand, to which Alex sighed as she rolled her eyes. She grabbed the offered hand with her left and pulled her into a hug. "We're friends, remember. We can hug."

Maggie relaxed into Alex before pulling away after an appropriate amount of time had passed. Her eyes looked a little more shiny than usual, "I missed you, Alex. I'm sorry I made a mess of us."

Alex smiled at Maggie. She was pretty sure her eyes were shiny, too. "I know," she said with a gentle shove of her shoulders. "I've missed you, too." 

Before Maggie could reply, they heard a peppy, yet surprisingly irritating voice chirp, "I can help who's next!"


	48. Menace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff

"You know," Kara giggled as she handed an ice pack to Alex, "this is usually the kind of thing that happens to _me,_ not you."

Alex glared at her, but the effect was lost on the giggling woman as the pack covered half of her face. Not that Kara was looking anyway. She had already turned to walk back to Alex's bedroom to grab a clean shirt for Alex to change into.

"It could've happened to anyone, Kara." Alex muttered as Kara carefully helped her pull off her old shirt. "You, however, always manage to put yourself in danger."

Kara hummed as she continued to assist Alex changing into the clean tee, "it's true, but that doesn't make it any less ironic." She plopped down on the couch only to quickly apologize to Alex when she hissed at the pain from being jostled. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking."

Alex grunted as she shifted to make herself less uncomfortable again, "no, it's okay. It's a habit. That's how you almost always sit down on this couch." Kara shrugged as she conceded her agreement before Alex continued, "but _man,_ who would have thought tiny cyclists could do so much damage?" She lifted her shirt to get a better look at the bruise forming on her ribs.

"To be fair," Kara started with a small shrug of her hand, "he was probably going fifteen to twenty miles an hour before he hit that curb."

Alex sighed and dropped her shirt back over her stomach, "yeah. I suppose you're right." She sat quietly, relishing the cold on her face. She had been walking back to the hospital after grabbing lunch with Kara, when suddenly a cyclist was flying off his bike, right into Alex, who had noticed very little of what was going on until there was a series of angry sounding horn honking (all car horns sound angry to her); before she could see the source of the noise, the mass of the scrawny man had knocked her down. Her torso took the brunt of the force, but his messenger bag had slammed into her face.

"I can't believe a driver decided he didn't belong on the road and just _ran him off the road_ ," Kara's hands moved to mimic the motion of the car and bike.

Alex nodded slowly so not to hurt herself, "yeah. Motorcycles sometimes get the same kind of crap. It's like some drivers think all people on two wheels are menaces to society."

"Well, that's not fair." Kara huffed. "I mean, you're probably the only real menace out there." 

She grinned at Alex's, "hey!" Before she dodged a pillow thrown by her indignant girlfriend.

"Throwing pillows only proves my point, Al." She giggled as she gently pulled Alex's legs onto her lap as she scooted closer. When she was close enough, she leaned in until her face was right in front of Alex's. Her eyes still held their mirth as they shifted to something softer, "hey there." 

Her voice was low and had an effect that would have had Alex reacting very differently than the quiet "hey" she responded with, were she not in so much pain.

"How are you feeling?"

Alex slowly raised her shoulders in a cautious shrug, "I think I'm alright. I just need some rest." 

Kara nodded as she stroked Alex's legs, lulling her into a sleepy state, "do you want me to leave, then?"

Alex's eyes widened as she almost shouted, "no!" She grabbed Kara's hand, and must have been far more tired than she originally thought as she muttered, "please never leave me."

Kara's face and voice softened as she simply replied, "okay, then." She quickly kissed Alex's not bruised cheek before slowly working her way out from her seat. Alex did not even bother to protest as Kara simply lifted her up into her arms, the way they had many times for each other over the years of their friendship. Kara had always said that Alex literally keeps her strong. This was how. She was placed gently on her bed before Kara changed into sleep appropriate clothing and pulled Alex in when she settled on the other side of the bed.

Alex giggled when a short breath tickled the hair on the back of her neck, "you know, it's funny that not only am I the actual doctor, but you are usually the one hurt in this scenario."

Kara chuckled into her shoulder, "well then, I guess it's my turn to take care of you."

Alex sighed and snuggled more against Kara, ignoring the protest of her ribs, "yeah, I like the sound of that," she muttered as she drifted off into sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably be a part two to this. We will see.


	49. A Day at Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tried to go in to work with a giant bruise on her face. It didn't work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I'm tired and editing is minimal

Kara had the day off and was finally putting away the pile of clothing that had occupied the armchair in the corner of her bedroom for a week. Admittedly, there was not a lot of clothing left to put away at that point. Just as the last shirt went into her drawer she heard keys jingling and the door knob turn. Kara glanced at the security screen to stop her heart rate from taking off. Past trauma can do things like that.

Wide, panicked eyes softened into a small smirk as she recognized the short hair swooped back and jacket casually worn on the confident shoulders. “Did you get sent home because that bruise was scaring people?” Kara asked over her shoulder as she started a pot of coffee for her girlfriend now entering through the door. 

She was rewarded with a scoff before the door clicked closed and turned around to see Alex shaking her head as she deposited her belongings by the door, “I should have just listened to you. I tried every tactic in the book to convince Dr. J’onzz to let me stay, but he just told me to go home.” She shrugged her shoulders as she delicately sat on Kara’s couch. “So, out of spite, I came here.” Her feet were now propped up, so she was almost occupying the entire piece of furniture.

Kara’s smirked stayed right where it was, “spite is the _only_ reason you came here?” 

Head rolling slightly as she conceded, “well, seeing my favorite person is just a bonus.” She lifted her feet as Kara brought over a steaming mug of fresh coffee for each of them and sat before Alex placed her feet on Kara’s lap.

Kara hummed, the corners of her lips turned up. "That's okay, I suppose" she muttered after she took a sip to hide the growing grin. "Does this mean that I get to spend the day with you?" 

Kara almost squealed in excitement at the thought of an entire day with Alex as her girlfriend. Her injured and bruised girlfriend, sure, but still. It had been a long time since she spent so much time with her.

Alex bit back her own smile as she nodded slowly and Kara almost forgot about Alex's ribs, but remembered just before jumping out of her seat that would have also painfully moved the tender-ribbed Alex. Luckily for Alex, Kara managed to reign in her enthusiasm and only a small shimmy escaped. She was excited, okay?

“So, what do you want to do today?” Kara cheerily beamed, shifting to face Alex without actually bumping or moving her legs too much. 

Alex shrugged carefully, “honestly? I _am_ in quite a bit of pain.” Her words came as smooth as gritted sandpaper, and Kara knew it was not information she would gladly admit to anyone. “Would you be okay with a marathon of some sort? We can probably manage to find a way to cuddle without it being too painful.” 

She batted her eyelashes in that ridiculous way that always makes Kara think of Penelope, the cat from Looney Tunes, and every time Pepe LePew misinterprets her merely blinking with those lash-y eyes. Kara had never found the thought of a cartoon so sexy until that moment. She set her coffee down and carefully leaned in to kiss Alex. “Marathon and cuddling sounds perfect to me.” She said, her face mere centimeters from Alex’s face. She pecked her lips again before leaning back and grabbing her drink, “I really just want to spend time with you. It’s been too long since we’ve had much time to just _exist_ together, you know?”

Alex nodded, "I know. It'll be nice to just spend time with you and possibly eat way too much pizza and junk food."

"My favorite things," Kara hummed in excitement once more and hugged Alex's legs (they were closest. Don't judge.) with her free arm, "you know me so well."

Alex chuckled at the odd display of affection and Kara knew that she could not imagine a better future than the one right in front of her. Alex was her world, there was no way she would ever let go of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will include a slight time jump, but nothing too crazy. Just wanted you all to be prepared


	50. Alex in Metropolis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has a big question for someone important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may come back and edit this. Later.

Alex had only been to Metropolis a few times since she had known Kara. Well, she had only been a few times ever. She had never been by herself, though. Luckily Gotham was just across the Delaware River that ran between the two twin cities, and Alex was able to spend some time with Maggie and Kate, who had both become good friends with Kara and Alex over the year and a half since that awkward meeting at Noonan's.

Kara did not actually know Alex was in Metropolis. If she had, she would have tried to find a way to join her, but Alex had to do this by herself. So, with the belief that Alex had a conference in Philadelphia (which was not a lie) that Alex was sent to by Dr. J'onnz (which was the real fib, although he knew and was willing to cover for Alex, should Kara ask) to attend, Kara stayed behind in National City. 

Wanting to lie to Kara as little as possible, Alex attended the multi-day conference, but spent two of the three nights in Gotham with Maggie and Kate, preparing herself for who she will be meeting the third in Metropolis.

Boy, was she nervous.

She had it all planned out, but there was always the unpredictable human factor that Alex had already run as many scenarios in her head as she could possibly imagine. Most were worst case scenarios, but Alex would argue that it was because good outcomes are naturally easy to respond to.

Hoping to unravel the bundle of anxiety that was Alex Danvers, she smoothed out the dark blazer laying on her hotel bed. She took a deep breath and counted to ten before exhaling to the same count. She could do this. She opened up her phone and stared at the bright azure eyes gleaming in the picture behind all of her applications. She wanted to do this alone, but she missed Kara immensely. Looking at a picture _did_ help calm her down, but only a fraction of what the real person could.

Gah, she missed Kara.

She allowed herself a few more seconds to feel sorry for herself before she hopped off the bed and swung on the blazer before she could convince herself that this was a bad idea. Because it was not a bad idea. It honestly was probably the best idea she had ever had all her life. She was just nervous.

So, before she could crumple back into the pit of anxiety just waiting for her, she walked out of the hotel room with renewed purpose. She was just going to talk to Clark, not some invulnerable alien with inhuman super-abilities. She could do this.

Armed with the weird farm-boy beer that was Clark's favorite, Alex knocked on the door to his home. The door swung open to reveal a beautiful brunette woman that smiled brightly when she recognized her, "Alex, hey! Clark said you were planning on swinging by."

Alex stepped in through the threshold, "Hello Lois, thanks for letting come visit." Formality stiffened her voice and back as she held out the gift of beer out to Lois, "I brought this for Clark."

Lois chuckled at Alex's robotic actions, but took the offering without any comments on it, "thanks. I'll go grab Clark," she turned to walk away, but stopped and faced Alex again once more, "if you're here for the reason I think you are, you don't have to be so nervous. There's no way he'll refuse your request."

Alex sighed, shoulders falling from their tight position with her breath, "I know, I just… Kara means the world to me, and Clark is important to her. I don't want to mess this up, you know?"

Lois's eyes softened and she stepped in to hug Alex briefly, "you won't. Clark has been hoping for this day since you two were still in high school."

Alex laughed with Lois before the shorter woman disappeared into the home, leaving Alex at the couch in the living room.

She was too nervous to sit, despite Lois's comforting words, so she paced the living room she had visited a few times before. She looked at the photos of Clark and Lois and the occasional inclusion of the cheerful younger Kara.

Alex was surprised to see her own face smiling brightly back at her, her own cheek smashed against Kara's as they hugged tightly. Alex remembered that day. The photo had not picked up on how red the rims of her eyes had been from crying that day, nor could one see how covered in sweat and dust they had been from literally running in the desert all morning. If she squinted, she could see the pancake house in the background, peeking out just above the two heads apparently trying so hard to be one.

"It was the only photo I had of the two of you," Alex squeaked in surprise before turning to see Kara's cousin smiling softly at her, "so I made due when I realized you were going to be a permanent fixture in our lives."

Clark Kent walked up to Alex and wrapped her in a brief warm hug, "it's good to see you Alex." 

He and Alex began a light conversation filled with social niceties, her nerves fluctuating throughout until she finally summoned enough courage to say what she had intended to say. "I know me stopping by without Kara is a little weird, but I needed to ask you something without her being here." She cleared her throat and her eyes met Clark's kind blue eyes in resolution, "I would like to ask your blessing in my asking Kara's hand in marriage." 

Alex almost fainted in relief when Clark's face broke out in a wide grin. There. She finally said it after months of preparation and careful planning, the words finally left her in front of the intended audience.

Clark hugged Alex once more, this one lasting longer than the first. "Alex, there is no one better suited for my little cousin. I would be happy to give you my blessing. Welcome to the family."

Alex chuckled through the sniffles and tears now taking over, "I still have to ask her, don't welcome me into the family quite yet."

Clark chuckled at that, "she'll say yes, don't worry." He turned towards the kitchen and said, "the trick will be managing it so that _you_ ask her before _she_ does."

Alex followed behind him with a chuckle, "knowing my friends, there is probably a betting pool on who will ask who first." 

He grabbed a couple of glasses and a bottle that looked like a very familiar brand of Alex's favorite whisky while nodding, "and when." He extended a glass with the amber liquid with her.

Alex shook her head as she felt a blush creeping up on her cheeks as she accepted the drink.

They both sipped at the drinks in their hands, the burn of whiskey bringing a grounding of familiarity to her. "You really think she'll say yes?"

Clark met her worried gaze, "I really do." He said quietly as he took another sip.


	51. Avoiding Suspicion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex was acting weird. Kara noticed

Kara was on to her, Alex was sure of it. 

There were only so many times she could avoid answering a question or click out of a browser as Kara approaches before she got suspicious. Or worried. 

Kara had taken on a heavier load at work as local upset grew over increasing crime and corruption, so it was not unusual that Alex came home to an empty apartment or Kara typing away furiously, representing the power of the press. 

Despite her distracted schedule, Alex had managed to act weird enough to worry her.

It was just a few days before the day she planned to propose when Kara was actually home before Alex. Her hands stilled when Alex walked into their living room, where Kara was stationed on the couch per usual. Alex smiled at her as she passed through the room and went straight to her own closet space to deposit the small package she had just obtained earlier that day. 

When she came back to where Kara was, she noticed that she had closed and set aside her laptop. She was playing with the cuffs of her oversized sweater, lips pursed and forehead crinkle present. She blinked and her smile was tight as Alex approached and finally kissed her hello. 

Alex plopped down next to Kara, and before she could ask how her day was Kara turned minutely - only a hint of facing Alex - before blurting, "is everything okay? You know, between us?"

Alex's eyebrows raised at the question, "uh- yeah, everything is great." Kara did not look convinced, "why do you ask."

Kara finally looked Alex in the eyes, but only briefly, "I don't know, you just seem more distant lately."

"Distant how?" Alex tried not to let her heart stammer its way out of her chest and ruin all of her careful planning.

Kara rolled her hand in Alex’s direction, “like _just now_ , Alex.” Alex could see tears building up in her eyes, “When did you stop kissing me as soon as you get home? You didn’t even say ‘hi.’”

Alex had not realized that she did not say anything when she came home. She had been so focused on not ruining the surprise, she did not notice she had been hurting Kara and their relationship. She paused before her hand touched Kara’s, but she took her hand with great care and held it in her own, “I didn’t realize that I had stopped doing that.” She squeezed the hand in her own, “it’s not because something is wrong.”

Tear filled blue eyes met hers and Alex could count the number of lights in their living room reflecting in her eyes, “then what is it?”

Alex wanted to tell Kara everything that she had planned then and there. She had the ring in a small nook behind her old med school books and notes, she could just get down on one knee and ask the question without any more avoiding questions and dodging suspicion, which she was obviously failing at, anyway. She took a deep breath and hoped that this would all be worth it, “do you trust me?” Alex felt sick and manipulative just asking it.

Kara did not even hesitate, “you know I do.” 

Alex sighed deeply. She had been prepared to tell Kara everything if there had been so much as too long of a breath between the question and answer, “I _am_ doing something that I don’t want you to know about.” Kara tensed and her lips prepared some comment that Alex preempted, “ _yet_. I don’t want you to know, _yet_.” Her hand squeezed Kara’s in emphasis.

Kara took in a deep breath and exhaled just as heavily before nodding, eyes focused straight ahead, “okay.” Her gaze shifted to Alex, “okay.” Her body crumpled into Alex’s shoulder with a shaky sigh, “I thought I had done something wrong without realizing it, and you were figuring out how to break up with me.”

“ _Never._ ” Alex pulled her into her embrace and Kara adjusted so she was sitting on Alex’s lap, hugging her as tight as she could. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” Kara muttered in her ear as she let up from the painful hold, but only just so. 

Alex squeezed tight, “please do,” before she also let off from the potentially painful hug.

“So,” Kara leaned back so she could look Alex more clearly face-to-face, “are you going to give me a clue on what it is you’re doing?”

A smirk crossed Alex’s lips as she gave a tight-lipped chuckle, “I don’t think so.” Alex shook her head before pushing Kara’s legs off of her own, “you hungry?”

Kara nodded enthusiastically as she let Alex reach for her phone in her back pocket before climbing back to her previous cuddle position on Alex’s lap. Alex ordered food and enveloped Kara in her arms once more. They sat like that, sharing about their days until the food came. 

“Oh.” Kara started as she finished chewing her first potsticker, “I got a call from the maintenance guy. He says that they’re doing some kind of flea treatment or something because our neighbors had a problem, so we won’t be able to be in our apartment for four hours on Saturday. I think he said they were starting at eleven.”

Alex took as deep a breath as she could without being obvious, _don’t smile Danvers, you got this,_ she thought to herself as she fought every urge to smile. She owed Johnny a six pack for making that call. There was no flea problem. “Okay. I actually have Saturday off, do you want to do something together? Make a day of it?”

Kara beamed at the suggestion and Alex finally allowed the smile she was holding back free. “I would love that,” Kara leaned in to Alex’s shoulder.

Alex leaned back, “yeah? Me too. Hey -” Alex shifted so she could see Kara better. “I know you’re busy with your article, so what do you say I figure out what we do so you can focus on your article?”

Kara’s smile only grew, “you’re the best.” She kissed Alex, “but you won’t be too busy? I know you’ve got a lot going on, too.”

Alex shrugged her shoulders, “I’ll be okay. I’ve got a few ideas already.” She kissed Kara again, hoping to distract her from catching on. She had all the ideas already, now she just had to wait until Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M'kay kids, I just took on a second job, am applying for grad school and still have to squeeze in family time. It is possible I can still manage to get a few chapters out quickly, but no promises.


	52. The Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex asks a question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out my Metro ride can be surprisingly productive, so here is the chapter you've all been waiting for.

Kara expected something… not this, "so, we're going hiking?" She looked at Alex as they loaded into Kara's car.

Alex hummed with tight lips, "yeah, it's been a while since we've spent some time outside together and Vasquez told me about this trail with a great view."

Kara nodded slowly, "okay, but don't you hate hiking?"

A small shrug from Alex jostled her bag as she slid it off her shoulders and placed it in the car, "I don't hate anything I get to do with you."

Alex was being really cheesy that day and it confused Kara almost as much as she enjoyed it. Alex did have a way of making cheesy and cliched lines come across as sincere and cool. _Kara_ blushes more than she does. "You think you're so smooth," Kara muttered over the car between them.

Alex only chuckled as they slid into the vehicles and buckled up, "I really think you'll like this hike," she grabbed Kara's hand and gave it a squeeze before letting go to turn and the car before driving to their destination. Wherever that was.

The thing about Southern California is that once you get out of the cities, it all kind of looks the same. So, after a few miles of sparse hills and orange dirt, they turned past some withered trees, small rocks, and vast desert with short bushes and occasional cacti.

In short, Kara had no idea where they were.

Alex seemed to know where they were going, though, as she directed the car without so much as a glance at her phone or map of any sort.

Eventually they pulled into a small parking lot next to what looked like a small forest, "wow. There are a surprising number of trees here." Kara unbuckled her seat and reached for the door handle.

"Yeah, there's supposed to be a decent sized lake at the center, so the trees can actually grow pretty well." Alex explained before getting out of the car.

Kara grew up on the east coast, vast green forests used to be so easily available for her to just disappear into for a run or hike before she moved to California - the first and the second time. Alex knew how much Kara loved the green of the trees, how they reminded her or her parents and picnics they would take on their excursions into the woods. Kara knew Alex was right, she would enjoy this hike.

After they gathered their packs, they stood side by side and Alex's hand slid into Kara's, "shall we go," Alex faced Kara as she asked the question, and Kara thought she might have looked nervous, but she probably just misread her facial expressions. Afterall, why would Alex Danvers be nervous on a simple hike?

Kara smiled, "yeah, let's get going." With the end of her sentence began her first step, tugging Alex alongside her.

After about a mile in, Kara started to notice that some of the trail markings were heart shaped. When she pointed it out to Alex, she noticed a twitch in her left eye that was always her tell on game nights, "oh yeah," her voice was light and nonchalant, "that's kinda neat."

Alex was acting weird again.

Kara kept an eye out for more things that were unusual from then on. She did not notice much until she saw an envelope underneath a heart shaped blaze with some writing on it. Upon further inspection, Kara noticed that the writing had her name on it in Alex's scrappy handwriting.

Heart hammering, Kara opened the envelope with care to find a copy of a photo of a much younger her and Alex, their faces covered in dirt. They were both smiling the wide smiles of their youth. She recognized it as the same that Clark keeps on his wall. That was the day Kara decided to keep Alex in her life forever. Pancakes still remind her of that day.

"Wha-" Kara faced Alex, "what is this?"

Alex's lips twitched into a smile, "look at the next one."

The next envelope a few trees down contained an old letter Kara had written Alex on the day of their graduation, along with a note from the recipient of how much Kara has always meant to her. "Alex -" Kara sniffed as she let her hands fall, still clutching the precious papers.

"There's more," Alex pointed ahead, and sure enough, there were more envelopes. 

Nine total envelopes (one for each year) later, they were beside a beautiful lake that Kara could only sort of make out through her tear filled eyes. Alex grabbed Kara's hand and she could not tell whose were shaking harder as they tugged Kara closer to her. 

With her voice low and clear, Alex spoke, "Kara, I could spend hours trying to find the right way to tell you how much you mean to me. I _did_ spend hours," she motioned to the envelopes in Kara's hands, "and it's still not enough. So, I have a question," Alex's hand visibly shook as it reached into her back pocket, "and if you say yes, I promise to dedicate the rest of my life figuring out how to tell you."

Kara's heart was pounding and her knees felt like jelly as she watched Alex kneel on one knee, "Kara Zor-El, will you marry me?"

Kara squealed a high pitched "yes" that probably could have been heard from the parking lot of the quiet little trail. She wrapped her arms around Alex's shoulders as she stood back on both feet, meeting her halfway for many excited kisses.

After the ring was placed on her finger and they finally calmed down (just a bit), they looked at each other with unending grins, "so, what do we do now?" Kara asked quietly, not wanting to break the quiet happiness between them.

Alex grinned wider, "well. I brought lunch in my backpack; what do you say to sitting and eating with me?"

Yep. Alex was the perfect woman. Kara said nothing, opting to kiss her gi- _fiancee_ instead. Alex let out a surprised hum when their lips met, but it was a happy hum that invited Kara to get carried away, making out in the woods where no one could see them.

Kara's stomach, however, had a different idea as it growled loud enough to draw the attention of the two women otherwise happily engaged in their activities. And just happily engaged.

They broke apart with a shared giggle, "come on," Alex spoke as she removed her backpack from her shoulders, "I packed our favorites - except for pizza. That would have been a little awkward to explain…" she faked a grimace for effect, but joined Kara's laughter with a chuckle of her own as she pulled bags of food from multiple locations.

Finished with their food, they gathered their trash into the backpack and joined hands on their journey to the car. 

"Hey, Alex?" Kara asked a few minutes into their path.

Alex hummed in response. "Do you mind if we wait before calling anyone?" She stopped walking, pulling Alex to a stop of her own. "I mean, I want to share this with everyone, of course, but I - I just want to live in this happy bubble for a little while before we get bombarded with congratulations and people asking what the date will be and such, you know?"

Alex smiled that sweet smile that had always been just for Kara and made her fall in love each time, "I would love that. Let's enjoy this for a little while, just the two of us."

Alex was wrong about one thing, Kara _loved_ this hike.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara expresses a concern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely not what I had in mind when I started writing this chapter, but I am happy enough with it.

"Hey Alex," Kara asked into the dark void she was staring into as they watched the meteor shower above them. She felt the head resting on her shoulder shift further into the crook of her neck. Alex was getting sleepy, only made more evident when a low hum came in response to Kara. "What do you think about not telling anyone about the engagement and just eloping? Make things simple."

Alex's arms squeezed tight around her, "I'm okay with that, but is that what _you_ really want?" 

A kiss was pressed against Kara's cheek as she thought of what she _did_ want. She wanted to marry Alex. She wanted kids with Alex. She wanted them to be together for the rest of their lives, and she had no doubts that they would do that. Those things she knew could and would happen.

She wanted her family to be there. Clark, Lois and Eliza were her family, sure, but Kara knew that her dreams of having her parents there to support her could never be a reality.

Kara shrugged, "Maybe I'm just anxious to be your wife." She squeezed Alex against her, hoping she would not end up crying on the night of their engagement and ruin everything.

"Kar," Alex's low, soft, gentle tone delivered the final push needed for tears to surface from Kara's eyes. "Honey, I am anxious to be your wife, too, but I have a feeling that's not what this is about."

"Never mind, it was a silly idea." Kara muttered before turning to kiss Alex's forehead.

She could feel the scowl against her lips before Alex pulled away from her. _Oops._ The natural instinct to protect that was so strong in Alex was clearly switched on as she searched Kara's face, "we got engaged only ten hours ago. We have plenty of time to figure out how we are going to get married. What's the real reason you want to elope?"

One of Alex's hands gently brushed stray tears from Kara's cheeks. She felt fragile and weak, not to mention ridiculous for not just telling Alex how she felt. She trusted Alex with everything.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready to, but I want to help." Alex looked like she was trying to be strong, but to Kara's well trained eye, she looked hurt. She looked rejected.

Kara squeezed her eyes tightly shut, "no, it's not that." Kara sat up from where she was laying, bringing Alex with her. She took the time for them to get resettled to reorient her thoughts. "I just wish my parents and your dad could be in the first group of people we could tell. I am just having a hard time picturing a wedding without them, even though they've been gone so long."

Alex kept her hands cupped around Kara's cheeks, catching each falling tear, "I know what you mean. It never feels perfectly complete without them." Kara nodded as she fell into Alex's torso. Alex scooped her into her lap and held her close as they rocked back and forth.

They stayed like that for an unrecorded, but decidedly brief moment until Alex nudged Kara, "come on, I've got an idea." She spoke as she continued to push Kara off her lap and they both stood up from the grass.

"What is it," Kara asked, confused by the obvious urgency of Alex's actions.

Alex reached her hand towards Kara and replied, "let's go" in lieu of an answer to her question.

"Where are we going," Kara asked, knowing that it was a futile question. They gathered up the blanket and belongings and abandoned the meteor shower behind them.

The drive was not terribly long and only took a short amount of time before Kara realized they were headed to their shared home. "Alex," Kara tried again, "why are we heading home?"

Alex grinned at her fiancee, "you'll see. There is something we need to do."

Ah Alex, as verbose as ever.

After they parked and climbed the stairs to their home, Alex unlocked the door with an almost giddy wiggle of her shoulders that Kara tried valiantly not to get distracted by how incredibly adorable it was.

They walked inside and before Kara could ask anything again, Alex simply guided her to the couch. "Sit here," she said as she fished her phone out of her pocket and scurried off to the mantle and she grabbed a few photos and shuffled back with her phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. 

"Alex? What's wrong honey?" Kara could recognize Eliza's voice anywhere. She checked her watch and understood why she had been immediately concerned. It was far too late to be calling outside of an emergency.

"Hey Mom, nothing is wrong. Kara and I just have something to tell you. Do you mind hanging on while I switch to video?" A muffled confirmation sounded before she shifted the frames in her hands and grabbed the phone as she made her way next to Kara.

"Okay," she began as she sat on the edge of the couch as she began to line up the photos. When Kara saw the images Alex had picked, she finally began to understand what Alex - sweet, beautiful, kind, _perfect_ Alex - had in mind. "Here with us are Kara's parents," she panned the camera around so Eliza could see, "and dad." She switched the camera back to her and Kara, who could feel a faint prickling of tears building up in her eyes. 

"Now, it isn't a surprise to any of you of my plans to marry this amazing woman next to me," Kara felt Alex's hand slide into her own as Alex faced her with a wide grin. She gave the hand a squeeze before they both turned back to their audience, "and I am happy to inform you all that she said yes!" Alex pulled Kara into her as Eliza cheered from behind her own camera and Kara could hear the silent celebrations of the three that had left this life so many years ago.

Tears fell from Kara's eyes as she was overwhelmed with so many feelings. Gratitude for Alex, the perfect woman; love for her dead parents; a yearning to have them be there in more than paper and ink proxies; love from and for Alex (who deserves to be mentioned as many times as possible); and the gushing support from Eliza over the phone. All these things were too much, that she felt like her body had filled to the brim and tears were forced out to relieve her of the building pressure.

With the hand she had been dealt, Kara could imagine it playing out no other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M'kay. I don't have another day off for two weeks or so, so I will most likely not see you any time before then. Maybe for the rest of the year, even.
> 
> Happy Holidays, kids.


	54. Snippets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little cute pre-wedding blurbs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abandon all hope of edited work, all who read here.

"Alex," Kara giggled as Alex placed kisses on her neck. She stepped back, pulling Kara with her until they stopped in front of the couch. She tugged on Kara's hands, bringing with her as she fell into the cushions. Kara always insisted on too many pillows, but they served their purpose that day. 

Kara, now sitting on Alex's lap and clearly only protesting out of duty, squirmed in Alex's loose hold, "you know, we should probably actually make some decisions before Eliza gets here."

Alex hummed into Kara's neck, smirking to herself when she shivered under the touch, "should we, though?"

A nudge from Kara pushed her enough away for their eyes to meet, "Alex, _your mother_ is going to be here in a few hours. She told us to have ideas."

"Well you're in luck, because I do have ideas." Alex smirked as she watched Kara shake her head.

"Care to fill me in?"

Alex's smirk grew before she shrugged, "I would like to be your wife, for starters."

If Alex were not already leaning against the back of the sofa, the shove from her fiancee would have sent her there. "You're insufferable," Kara muttered.

"You love me." Alex chuckled as she pulled Kara back into her body.

An attempt of a scowl foiled by an adorable failure to smother her smile planted on Kara's face, "only sometimes."

Alex tilted her head back in fully belly laughter before squeezing Kara in a tight hug, "I can work with that."

***

Kara was doing that thing with the crinkle again as she scrolled through her phone when Alex arrived home from work.

"What are you worried about," Alex asked as she put away her bag and keys before making her way to the couch where she sat.

"Have you figured out what you're wearing, yet?" Kara looked over through knit eyebrows.

Alex sat next to Kara, who moved so she would not be able to see what she was considering on wearing. They decided to keep it a surprise from the other until the wedding day. "I have it narrowed down to a few choices."

"Dress or suit?" Kara asked, still scrolling through the options on the device in front of her. She looked over only after she finally noticed Alex had given no response, only a raised eyebrow in reply. "I mean, wouldn't it be weird if we both wore suits?"

"No." Alex stated without any hesitation or room for questioning. 

"Or we could both wear dresses," Kara states, but it was clear it was more a mutter to herself.

Alex shrugged, "we could do either and it would be perfectly fine. Gay couples do it all the time."

A noncommittal grunt was all Kara gave in acknowledgement to Alex's words of support.

"You know, we _could_ both do what that one fire dancing couple did and both wear dresses and then burn away the skirts to reveal pants." Alex wagged her eyebrows as she proposed her idea.

Kara slowly realized what was said as blue eyes widened and turned to meet Alex's smug expression, "that's going to be a 'no' for me. Thanks"

***

"I scheduled another cake testing for tomorrow." Kara was half asleep with her head on Alex's lap as Alex played with long blonde strands of hair.

Surprised by the announcement, Alex raised an eyebrow at Kara. "What's wrong with the cake we picked out at the last place?" 

One should shrugged into Alex's thigh, "Nothing, I just want free cake."

Alex just chuckled and shook her head. That sounded like something Kara would do.

***

Alex did not want to leave, but her mother was insistent on following tradition, "it's just one night, Alexandra," _Yep. There's no getting out of this._ Eliza only uses her full name when she absolutely will not budge.

Kara dug her face farther into Alex's neck and quickly placed a kiss on her collarbone. It was the perfect combination of adorable and seduction that made Alex want to send tradition packing. But Eliza was there on the other side of the room, blatantly making an attempt not to watch her daughter and soon-to-be daughter-in-law say their farewells. Resigned to follow tradition, Alex slowly pulled away from Kara, but not without kissing every inch of her face she could reach. "I love you," she muttered after every other kiss, despite the slow blush burning on her cheeks from being aware of her mother's presence thirty feet away.

Kara giggled as Alex kissed her before pulling her in for one real kiss. "I love you, you silly woman." She replied before her lips pursed gently in a pout, "I don't want you to go."

Alex impressed herself by not attempting to kiss the expression off Kara's face, "I don't want to go, either." She ran her fingers through long strands of blonde hair, "but my mom is right, it's one night. Then we can spend every night together for the rest of our lives." Her hand stopped at Kara's jaw, tilting her chin so their gazes met, "Deal?"

Kara nodded slowly, "I suppose I can agree to that." Then she smirked, "I can't wait to see you tomorrow. James better take the best photos of his career."

Alex chuckled, "I know, love. Same here."

Their foreheads rested against each other before Alex tilted her chin up to kiss Kara once more. It was just one night. She could do this. "I'll see you tomorrow." She said as she backed away. It was time to join her mother before trying her patience for too long.

Kara nodded with a smile, "I'll meet you at the altar."


	55. Wedding day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara marry. There is no dialogue.

Alex awoke colder than she had in quite some time. Well, than she had since Kara moved in with her. There was a chill coming from the hotel air conditioner that on any other day would have made her curl up next to her human heater and pushed the limits of the snooze button.

Today, however, was different. 

Alex woke up and happily embraced the cold air as she pulled off the covers to begin the day. _The Big Day_. 

She enjoyed a quiet minute with a cup of kind of okay coffee before showering, which was the last quiet moment she had before Eliza knocked on her door with the whirlwind that is Lucy Lane and Vasquez in tow. 

They fretted, they fussed, they argued, they got ready for the event. Shirt, waistcoat, and jacket were all buttoned. Hair was done, bowtie was secured, and shoes were tied. Alex reviewed herself in the mirror. She had chosen a deep burgundy suit that was Kara’s favorite color on her and she could not wait for the look that she would get from her when they meet eyes for the first time that day.

Finally, it was time to go and meet her bride.

The venue was a beautiful garden just outside of National city with tall rose bushes and vines coerced into graceful archways. It was under one of these, with large healthy red and white rose blooms spaced throughout, where Alex stood with nerves coursing through her whole body. 

The ceremony itself was a blur after the moment Kara appeared on the pathway in a pristine white dress with a layered skirt that seemed incapable of picking up any of the dirt just mere millimeters from its hem. Golden embroidery that matched the gold of Alex's waistcoat marked an intricate flowering pattern down her sleeves that somehow made Kara's eyes shine more than Alex had thought humanly possible.

All at once, Alex remembered every time Kara took her breath away and decided they were all nothing compared to that one moment. The divinely stunning angel that was Kara Zor-el was walking down the path that led to _Alex._ And that alone was enough to make her knees weak. 

Alex did her best (and mostly succeeded at) not to fumble through her vows or break down in front of everyone who had come to believe she was incapable of crying. Thankfully, the ceremony was brief and Kara discreetly wiped tears from Alex's face as they shared their first kiss as wife and wife with their closest friends and family cheering beside them. 

They had time only to grab a quick bite before the reception brought family and friends, one after the other, ceaselessly congratulating them and sharing unsolicited advice on a successful relationship.

Their first dance was the only moment they got without interruption. The whole three minutes and thirty-nine seconds of the song as their friends watched them, joining in the last minute as directed by the MC.

Despite the constant split of their attention, the two never left each other's side; they often held hands, kept their arms linked together, or leaned on each other as they spoke with their guests. If it were not for that constant touch, Alex would likely have taken the microphone herself and excused herself and Kara early to go make out with her wife. 

Finally, they were sent off by their loved ones in a car decorated in a celebratory fashion of questionable safety. 

In their hotel room, they held each other for an unknown length of time and Alex was overwhelmed with the feeling of belonging that overtook her - not a feeling of possession or of owning, but of Alex belonging _with_ Kara, of having a home wherever they go.

And Alex did not want to be anywhere but here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M'kay, Kids. 
> 
> Life has gotten too crazy to keep this story up. If you don't like the ending, write your own story. Because I am done.


End file.
